"Yes, and--oh my dear, I do still agree, with all my heart. But if the
State will do nothing--nothing--"
"It won't, it daren't, go on doing nothing, unless we encourage it to
do so. Don't you see, Jacynth, it is just because so many people take
it on themselves to feed a few birds here and there that the State
feels it can afford to shirk the responsibility?"
"All that is fearfully true. But just now--Adrian, the look in that
robin's eyes--"
Berridge covered his own eyes, as though to blot out from his mind the
memory of that look. But Jacynth was not silenced. She felt herself
dragged on by her sense of duty to savour, and to make her husband
savour, the full bitterness that the situation could yield for
them both. "Adrian," she said, "a fearful thought came to me.
Suppose--suppose it had been Amber!"
Even before he shuddered at the thought, he raised his finger to his
lips, glancing round at the cage. It was clear that Amber had not
overheard Jacynth's remark, for he threw back his head and uttered one
of his blithest trills. Adrian, thus relieved, was free to shudder at
the thought just suggested.
"Sometimes," murmured Jacynth, "I wonder if we, holding the views we
hold, are justified in keeping Amber."
"Ah, dear, we took him in our individualistic days. We cannot
repudiate him now. It wouldn't be fair. Besides, you see, he isn't
here on a basis of mere charity. He's not a parasite, but an artist.
He gives us of his art."
"Yes, dear, I know. But you remember our doubts about the position of
artists in the community--whether the State ought to sanction them at
all."
"True. But we cannot visit those doubts on our old friend yonder, can
we, dear? At the same time, I admit that when--when--Jacynth, if
ever anything happens to Amber, we shall perhaps not be justified in
keeping another bird."
"Don't, please don't talk of such things." She moved to the window.
Snow, a delicate white powder, was falling on the coverlet of snow.
Outside, on the sill, the importunate robin lay supine, his little
heart beating no more behind the shabby finery of his breast, but
his glazing eyes half-open as though even in death he were still
questioning. Above him and all around him brooded the genius of
infinity, dispassionate, inscrutable, grey.
Jacynth turned and mutely beckoned her husband to the window.
They stood there, these two, gazing silently down.
Presently Jacynth said: "Adrian, are you sure that we, you and I, for
all our theories, and all our efforts, aren't futile?"
"No, dear. Sometimes I am not sure. But--there's a certain comfort in
not being sure. To die for what one knows to be true, as many saints
have done--that is well. But to live, as many of us do nowadays, in
service of what may, for aught we know, be only a half-truth or not
true at all--this seems to me nobler still."
"Because it takes more out of us?"
"Because it takes more out of us."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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