"Wot am I?" he said, as we paced along. "A bloomin' cypher. Wot's
the sarjint? 'E's got the Inspector over 'im. Over above the
Inspector there's the Sooprintendent. Over above 'im's the old
red-tape-masticatin' Yard. Over above that there's the 'Ome Sec.
Wot's 'e? A cypher, like me. Why?" Judlip looked up at the stars.
"Over above 'im's We Dunno Wot. Somethin' wot issues its horders
an' regulations an' divisional injunctions, inscrootable like, but
p'remptory; an' we 'as ter see as 'ow they're carried out, not arskin'
no questions, but each man goin' about 'is dooty.'
"''Is dooty,'" said I, looking up from my note-book. "Yes, I've got
that."
"Life ain't a bean-feast. It's a 'arsh reality. An' them as makes it a
bean-feast 'as got to be 'arshly dealt with accordin'. That's wot the
Force is put 'ere for from Above. Not as 'ow we ain't fallible. We
makes our mistakes. An' when we makes 'em we sticks to 'em. For the
honour o' the Force. Which same is the jool Britannia wears on 'er
bosom as a charm against hanarchy. That's wot the brarsted old Beaks
don't understand. Yer remember Smithers of our Div?"
I remembered Smithers--well. As fine, upstanding, square-toed,
bullet-headed, clean-living a son of a gun as ever perjured himself in
the box. There was nothing of the softy about Smithers. I took off my
billicock to Smithers' memory.
"Sacrificed to public opinion? Yuss," said Judlip, pausing at a front
door and flashing his 45 c.p. down the slot of a two-grade Yale.
"Sacrificed to a parcel of screamin' old women wot ort ter 'ave gorn
down on their knees an' thanked Gawd for such a protector. 'E'll be
out in another 'alf year. Wot'll 'e do then, pore devil? Go a bust on
'is conduc' money an' throw in 'is lot with them same hexperts wot 'ad
a 'oly terror of 'im." Then Judlip swore gently.
"What should you do, O Great One, if ever it were your duty to
apprehend him?"
"Do? Why, yer blessed innocent, yer don't think I'd shirk a fair clean
cop? Same time, I don't say as 'ow I wouldn't 'andle 'im tender like,
for sake o' wot 'e wos. Likewise cos 'e'd be a stiff customer to
tackle. Likewise 'cos--"
He had broken off, and was peering fixedly upwards at an angle of 85°
across the moonlit street. "Ullo!" he said in a hoarse whisper.
Striking an average between the direction of his eyes--for Judlip,
when on the job, has a soul-stirring squint--I perceived someone in
the act of emerging from a chimney-pot.
Judlip's voice clove the silence. "Wot are yer doin' hup there?"
The person addressed came to the edge of the parapet. I saw then that
he had a hoary white beard, a red ulster with the hood up, and what
looked like a sack over his shoulder. He said something or other in a
voice like a concertina that has been left out in the rain.
"I dessay," answered my friend. "Just you come down, an' we'll see
about that."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account