English drama -- Early modern and Elizabethan, 1500-1600
_Buz_. I know not; may be ever since we were borne, for your father used
to come home to my mother, & why may not I be a chipp of the same blocke
out of which you two were cutt? Mothers are sure of their children, but
no man is able to sweare who was his father.
_Hen_. You are very lusty.
_Buz_. I eate eringoes[31] and potchd eggs last night.
_Hen_. Goe & call him.
_Buz_. What?
_Hen_. You hound, is he up?
_Buz_. No, he's in Bed, and yet he may be up too; Ile goe see.
_Hen_. Stay, and speake low.--How now?
[_Buz. falls downe_.
_Buz_. I can speake no lower unlesse I creepe into the Cellar.
_Hen_. I'me glad you are so merry, sir.
_Buz_. So am I; my heart is a fiddle; the strings are rozend with ioy
that my other young Mr. is come home, & my tongue the sticke that makes
the fiddle squeake.
_Hen_. Come hither, leave your fooling & tell me truely: didst sleepe
to night or no?
_Buz_. Sleepe? Not that I remember: Ile sweare (& my eyes should come
out as 2 witnesses) that I nere slept worse; for what with ycur
_Spanish_ flyes (the pocky, stinging musquitoes) & what with your skip
Jacke fleas, the nap of my sleepe was worne off.
_Hen_. Didst heare nothing?
_Buz_. Not in my sleepe.
_Hen_. Collect thy sences; when thou wert awake didst thou heare
nothing?
_Buz_. Nothing.
_Hen_. Twixt 12 & one?
_Buz_. 12 & one? Then was I in my dead sleepe, cursing the fleas.
_Hen_. Or about one & two.
_Buz_. That's Three:--Now the Beetle[32] of my head beates it into my
memory that as you & your brother _Manuell_ lay in the high Bed, & I
trondling[33] underneath, I heard one of you talke most stigmatically in
his sleepe--most horriferously.
_Hen_. Right, now thou com'st to me,--so did I.
_Buz_. And then once or twice the sleepy voice cryde out, "Oh it was I
that murthered him! this hand killd him!"
_Hen_. Art sure thou heardst this?
_Buz_. Am I sure these are my eares?
_Hen_. And dar'st thou sweare thou heardst it?
_Buz_. Lay downe 20 oathes, and see if Ile not take them.
_Hen_. And whose voice was it did appeare to thee?
_Buz_. Whose voice was it? Well said, yong Master! make an asse of your
fathers man!
_Hen_. Come, come, be serious: whose voice?
_Buz_. Whose voice? why then, if your windpipe were slitt now and opend,
there should the voice be found. I durst at midnight be sworne that the
Ghost of your voice appeard before me.
_Hen_. No; me it frighted too; up stood my haire stiffe & on end.
_Buz_. As a Catts does at sight of a dog.
_Hen_. A cold sweat pearld in dropps all ore my body;
For 'twas my Brothers voice, & were I calld
Before a thousand Judges I must sweare
It could be no mans els.
_Buz_. Why, then, I must sweare so, too.
_Hen_. "Oh it was I that murthered him! this hand killed him!"
[_Within, Man_] _Buzzano_!
_Hen_. He's up.
[_Man_.] _Buzzano_!
_Buz_. I come.
_Hen_. Helpe to make him ready,[34] but not a word on thy life.
_Buz_. Mum. [_Exit_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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