English drama -- Early modern and Elizabethan, 1500-1600
_Mac_. Breake up the Court till afternoon: then the 2 _Guzmans_ tryall.
_All_. Come, _Englishman_.
_Med_. How we honour valour thus our loves epresse:
Thou hast a guard of Dukes and Marquesses.
[_Exeunt all_.
_Actus Quintus_.
(SCENE 1.)
_Enter Teniente & Henrico_.
_Ten_. The Lords are not yett risen: let us walke & talke.
Were not you better yeild to marry her
Then yeild to suffer death? know you the law?
_Hen_. Law! yes; the spiders Cobweb[46], out of which great flyes breake
and in which the little are hangd: the Tarriers snaphance[47],
limetwiggs, weavers shuttle & blankets in which fooles & wrangling
coxcombes are tossd. Doe I know't now or not?
_Ten_. If of the rape she accuse you 'tis in her choise
To have you marry her or to have you hangd[48].
_Hen_. Hangd, hangd by any meanes! marry her? had I
The King of _Spaines_ 7 Kingdomes,
_Gallicia, Navarre_, the 2 _Castiles,
Leon, Arragon, Valentia, Granada_,
And _Portugall_ to make up 8, Ide lose them
All to be rid of such a piece of flesh.
_Ten_. How? such a piece of flesh? Why, she has limbes
Mad out of wax.[49]
_Hen_. Then have her to some faire
And shew her for money.
_Ten_. Is she not sweet complexiond?
_Hen_. As most Ladyes are that studye painting.
_Ten_. What meate will downe your throat, when you scorne pheasant,
partridge, woodcocke & coney? Would I had such a dish.
_Hen_. Woodcocke and coney take to you, my _Don Teniente_; Ile none; and
because you keepe such a wondering why my stomach goes against the wench
(albeit I might find better talke, considering what ladder I stand upon)
Ile tell you, signior, what kind of wife I must have or none.
_Ten_. Pray let me see her picture.
_Hen_. Draw then this curtaine:
Give me a wife that's sound of wind and limbe;
Whose teeth can tell her age; whose hand nere felt
A touch lascivious; whose eyes are balls
Not tossd by her to any but to me;
Whose breath stinkes not of sweatmeates; whose lippes kisse
Onely themselves and mine; whose tongue nere lay
At the signe of the _Bell_. She must not be a scold,
No, nor a foole to be in love with Bables[50];
No, nor too wise to think I nere saile true
But when she steares the rudder. I'de not have
Her belly a drum, such as they weave points on,
Unles they be taggd with vertue; nor would I have
Her white round breasts 2 sucking bottles to nurse
Any Bastards at them.
_Ten_. I believe you would not.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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