A Counterfeit Presentment; and, The Parlour CarHowells, William Dean
General
A Counterfeit Presentment; and, The Parlour Car
Howells, William Dean
American drama -- 19th century; Man-woman relationships -- Drama
_Bartlett._--"No, sir, I won't listen to you! I've listened too much!
What right, I should like to know, have they to find this resemblance in
me? And do they suppose that I'm going to be placated by being told that
they treat me like a rogue because I look like one? It is a little too
much. A man calls 'Stop thief' after me and expects me to be delighted
when he tells me I look like a thief! The reparation is an additional
insult. I don't choose to know that they fancy this infamous resemblance
in me. Their pretending it is an outrage; and your reporting it to me is
an offence. Will you tell them what I say? Will you tell this General
Wyatt and the rest of his Bedlam-broke-loose, that they may all go to
the"--
_Cummings._--"For shame, for shame! You outrage a terrible sorrow! You
insult a trouble sore to death! You trample upon, an anguish that should
be sacred to your tears!"
_Bartlett_, resting his elbow on the corner of the piano.--"What--what
do you mean, Cummings?"
_Cummings._--"What do I mean? What you are not worthy to know! I mean
that these people, against whom you vent your stupid rage, are worthy of
angelic pity. I mean that by some disastrous mischance you resemble to
the life, in tone, manner, and feature, the wretch who won that poor
girl's heart, and then crushed it; who--Bartlett, look here! These are
the people--this is the young lady--of whom my friend wrote me from
Paris: do you understand?"
_Bartlett_, in a dull bewilderment.--"No, I don't understand."
_Cummings._--"Why, you know what we were talking of just before they
came in: you know what I told you of that cruel business."
_Bartlett._--"Well?"
_Cummings._--"Well, this is the young lady"--
_Bartlett_, dauntedly.--"Oh, come now! You don't expect me to believe
that! It isn't a stage-play."
_Cummings._--"Indeed, indeed, I tell you the miserable truth."
_Bartlett._--"Do you mean to say that _this_ is the young girl who was
jilted in that way? Who--Do you mean-- Do you intend to tell me-- Do you
suppose--Cummings"--
_Cummings._--"Yes, yes, yes!"
_Bartlett._--"Why, man, she's in Paris, according to your own showing!"
_Cummings._--"She was in Paris three weeks ago. They have just brought
her home, to help her hide her suffering, as if it were her shame, from
all who know it. They are in this house by chance, but they are here. I
mean what I say. You _must_ believe it, shocking and wild as it is."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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