A Counterfeit Presentment; and, The Parlour CarHowells, William Dean
General
A Counterfeit Presentment; and, The Parlour Car
Howells, William Dean
American drama -- 19th century; Man-woman relationships -- Drama
_Mrs. Wyatt._--"Nothing. Are you quite comfortable, here? Have you got
everything you wish?"
_General Wyatt_, with a glance at the things on the table at his
elbow.--"Here are my cigars, and--yes, here are the papers. Yes, I'm all
right. But what do you mean by 'nothing'? What--Ah, here's Mr.
Bartlett!" As Bartlett comes into the room, the General, since he cannot
conveniently rise, makes a demonstration of welcome with his hands.
Bartlett has his colour-box under his arm, and a canvas in his hand.
"You've been improving the shining hour, I see. What have you there?"
II.
BARTLETT, GENERAL WYATT, _and_ MRS. WYATT.
_Bartlett_, with a smile and nod inclusive of Mrs. Wyatt.--"Nothing
worth looking at." He goes and faces it against the wall. "Have I kept
Miss Wyatt waiting?"
_Mrs. Wyatt_, anxiously.--"It's too bad you should waste your time upon
her, Mr. Bartlett. I don't know why we let you."
_Bartlett._--"You can't help yourself, Mrs. Wyatt. The wrong is owing to
circumstances beyond your control. If I have any virtue it is a
particularly offensive form of stubbornness. Besides,"--more
seriously,--"I feel myself honoured to do it--to contribute anything to
Miss Wyatt's--ah--ah--In short, if she can stand it _I_ can."
_General Wyatt._--"It's immensely kind of you. By the way, you won't
mind my staying here, will you, to read my papers, while you're at work?
Because if you do, I can clear out at once." Mrs. Wyatt, with mute but
lively tokens of dismay, attends the General's further remarks: "I don't
want to stay here and be a bore and a nuisance, you know." Mrs. Wyatt
vanishes from the scene in final despair.
_Bartlett_, going up to the easel and dragging it into an entirely new
position.--"Not in the least. Some woman been putting this room in
order, hasn't there?"
_General Wyatt._--"Three."
_Bartlett._--"I thought so." He continues to disarrange all the
preparations for his work. His operations bring him in the vicinity of
General Wyatt, upon whose box of cigars his eye falls. "Oh, I say,
General! Smoking?"
_General Wyatt._--"Certainly. Why not?"
_Bartlett._--"Well, I don't know. I thought perhaps--I supposed--I
imagined somehow from something she said, or that happened--it was
offensive to Miss Wyatt."
_General Wyatt._--"Why, bless your heart, man, she minds it no more than
I do!"
_Bartlett._--"You don't say so! Why, I haven't smoked any for the last
two weeks, because--because-- And I'm almost dead for a pipe!"
_General Wyatt._--"Why, poor fellow! Why, here! Take a cigar!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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