A Counterfeit Presentment; and, The Parlour Car — John Shaqi
A Counterfeit Presentment; and, The Parlour CarHowells, William Dean
General
A Counterfeit Presentment; and, The Parlour Car
Howells, William Dean
American drama -- 19th century; Man-woman relationships -- Drama
_Cummings._--"The leafless elm would make a good picture, whatever you
called it." Bartlett throws back his shaggy head and laughs up at the
ceiling. "The fact is, Bartlett, I've got a little surprise for you."
_Bartlett_, looking at him askance.--"Somebody wanting to chromo The Old
Girl? No, no; it isn't quite so bad as that!"
_Cummings_, in a burst.--"They _did_ want to chromo it. But it's sold.
They've got you two hundred dollars for it." Bartlett lays down his
brush, palette, and mahl-stick, dusts his fingers, puts them in his
pockets, and comes and stands before Cummings, on whom, seated, he bends
a curious look.
_Bartlett._--"And do you mean to tell me, you hardened atheist, that
you don't believe in the doctrine of future punishments? What are they
going to do with _you_ in the next world? And that picture-dealer? And
_me_? Two hun-- It's an outrage! It's--the picture wasn't worth fifty,
by a stretch of the most charitable imagination! Two hundred, d-- Why,
Cummings, I'll paint no end of Old Girls, First and Last Grey
Hairs--I'll flood the market! Two-- Good Lord!" Bartlett goes back to
his easel, and silently resumes his work. After a while: "Who's been
offered up?"
_Cummings._--"What?"
_Bartlett._--"Who's the victim? My patron? The noble and discriminating
and munificent purchaser of The Old Girl?"
_Cummings._--"Oh! Mrs. Bellingham. She's going to send it out to her
daughter in Omaha."
_Bartlett._--"Ah! Mrs. Blake wishes to found an art museum with that
curiosity out there? Sorry for the Omaha-has." Cummings makes a gesture
of impatience. "Well, well; I won't then, old fellow! I'm truly obliged
to you. I accept my good fortune with compunction, but with all the
gratitude imaginable. I say, Cummings!"
_Cummings._--"Well?"
_Bartlett._--"What do you think of my taking to high art,--mountains
twelve hundred feet above the sea, like this portrait of Ponkwasset?"
_Cummings._--"I've always told you that you had only to give yourself
scope,--attempt something worthy of your powers"--
_Bartlett._--"Ah, I thought so. Then you believe that a good big canvas
and a good big subject would be the making of me? Well, I've come round
to that idea myself. I used to think that if there was any greatness in
me, I could get it into a small picture, like Meissonier or Corot. But I
can't. I must have room, like the Yellowstone and Yo-Semite fellows.
Don't you think Miss Wyatt is looking wonderfully improved?"
_Cummings._--"Wonderfully! And how beautiful she is! She looked lovely
that first day, in spite of her ghostliness; but now"--
_Bartlett._--"Yes; a _phantom_ of delight is good enough in its way, but
a _well woman_ is the prettiest, after all. Miss Wyatt sketches, I think
I told you."
_Cummings._--"Yes, you mentioned it."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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