French fiction -- Translations into English; Love -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
Yes, was this joy true? Hubert asked himself the question a quarter of
an hour later, seated beside Madame de Sauve in the little drawing-room
at the square table, on which were placed all the apparatus necessary to
lend it enjoyment: the silver teapot, the ewer of hot water, the
delicate cups. Had she not brought those two cups from Paris with her in
order, doubtless, always to have them? She waited on him, as she had
said, with her pretty hands, from which she had taken her wedding ring,
in order to remove from the young man's thoughts all occasion for
remembering that she was not free. During those afternoon hours, the
silence of the little town was almost palpable around them, and the
sense of a common solitude deepening in their hearts was so intense that
they did not speak, as though they feared that their words might awake
them from the intoxicating kind of sleep which was creeping over their
souls. Hubert had his head resting upon his hand, and was looking at
Theresa. He felt her at this moment so completely his own, so near to
his most secret being, that he had even ceased to experience the need of
her caresses.
She was the first to break the silence, of which she suddenly became
afraid. She rose from her chair and came and sat down upon the ground at
the young man's feet, with her head on his knees, and, as he still
continued motionless, there was disquiet in her eyes; then submissively,
and in that subdued tone of voice which no lover has ever resisted, she
said:
"If you knew how I tremble lest I should displease you! I cried
yesterday evening beside the fire in this room, where I was waiting for
you, thinking that you would be sure to love me less after my coming
here. Ah! you will be angry with me for loving you too much, and for
venturing to do what I have done for you!"
The anguish preying upon this charming woman was so great that Hubert
saw her features change somewhat as she uttered these words. The whole
drama which had been enacted within her from the beginning of this
attachment took form for the first time. At this moment especially,
seeing him so young, so pure, so free from brutality, so completely in
accordance with her dream, she felt a mad longing to lavish marks of her
tenderness upon him, and she trembled more than ever lest she should
offend him, or perhaps--for there are such strange recesses in feminine
consciences--corrupt him. Giving herself up to the pleasure of thinking
aloud upon these things for the first time, she went on:
"We women, when we love, can do nothing else but love. From the day when
I met you coming back from the country I have belonged to you. I would
have followed you wherever you had asked me to follow you. Nothing has
had any further existence for me--nothing but yourself; no," she added
with a fixed look, "neither good nor evil, nor duty, nor remembrance.
But can you understand that--you who think, as all men do, that it is a
crime to love when one is not free?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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