French fiction -- Translations into English; Love -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
Theresa de Sauve might have been a woman buried, sewn up in a shroud,
laid in the coldness of the funeral vault for ever, and Hubert would not
have abandoned himself more to the gnawings of his memory, to the mad
ardour of love which lacks both hope and desire, and is wholly made up
of ecstacy of what once has been,--and can never be again. By means of
her notes, which he had kept, and which he re-read until he knew every
word by heart, he reconstructed, hour by hour, the delicious months of
his past intoxication. Theresa was in the habit of never dating her
letters, but of simply writing the name of the day at the head of them,
"Thursday," "Wednesday," "Saturday." Hubert found the day of the month
from the post-mark, thanks to the pious care with which he had preserved
all the envelopes, for the childish reason that he could not have
destroyed a line of that handwriting without pain.
Even after so many weeks, he had failed to become insensible to the
emotion caused him by the sight of the letters of his name traced by
Theresa's hand. Yes; hour by hour he revived the life already lived. The
charm of the bygone moments reappeared so complete, so rapturous, so
heart-breaking! It had passed away as everything does, and the young man
had come to rebel no longer against the enigma of which he was the
victim. The Christian notion of responsibility was succeeded within him
by an obscure fatalism. The termination of his happiness was now
explained in his eyes by the inevitable misery of mankind. He almost
acquitted his phantom of a fault which seemed to him to be bound up with
natural fatalities; and then he began to think that this phantom was not
that of a dead woman with closed eyes, motionless bosom, and shut lips,
but of a living creature with beating eyelids, throbbing heart, and
parted lips that were fresh and warm; and, tormented in spite of himself
by some vague, dim desire, he again began to murmur:
"What is she doing?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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