A bunch of little young girls passed me, all laughing. They seemed years
younger than I was. I thought of them--of the day they'd had in the
factory--bad air, noise, work that was dead before it was born, and
maybe a home where there was rows, or maybe just nobody at all; and
somebody like Arthur Carney coming to help them be a little less
lonesome. And then I faced it honest: Suppose he hadn't had flat hair
and light eyes. Suppose he had looked different, so that I would have
_wanted_ to go to dinner with him?
I begun to walk fast, back to town. Across the bridge I went in a little
down-stairs place to get something to eat. I was thinking so hard I
never knew I'd ordered a quarter's worth till I got the bill. But I
didn't care much. Everything else seemed all of a sudden to matter so
much more.
That night, when I walked into the meeting, they all stared. I s'pose
the word had got round that I'd gone with him. I whispered to Rose that
I wanted to say something, and she give me a chance right away. When I
got up on the platform and faced 'em, I wasn't afraid. I was glad.
I told them that just because I had got to leave, I didn't want them to
think I was going to forget. And that they mustn't forget, either. "It
ain't caught me yet," I told 'em. "I'm new and from the country, and I
can see what it is that you're getting, like you can't see. And what I
say is this: Quit your hoping. Just know that until we get together
ourselves, nothing will come out of the factory except what we're
getting now. Quit your hoping, and help. That's my last word."
And yet I guess you can't blame anybody for being afraid of being
hungry. I'd never been hungry yet, so I was brave.
I didn't tell Mis' Bingy that night that I'd lost my job. I didn't tell
her till next morning when she woke up, scared that I was late. We went
out in the park with the baby.
"We'll be all right, Mis' Bingy," I says, "don't you worry."
I was sitting on the grass. And when I spoke so, I happened to see my
foot sticking from under my skirt. The whole half of my shoe sole had
come off, and was gone, and the nails was all showing. Ten days' rent it
would take to buy me another pair.
Just now I tore out thirty pages of this book. And just now I read them
over. They made me sick to read them, not because of what was there, but
because of what wasn't there. It was the same thing over and over again
all that time. Hat factory, ribbon factory, braid factory, silk factory,
and ten weeks rolling stogies. Some places the girls cared, and was
trying to make others care to get things better. In others it was get
what you could, look your best, and marry the first man that asked you.
Every place I went, I begun asking about the things that Rose had taught
me about--fines, and dockings, and fire safety, and the rest. Then I
talked to the girls. That was why I didn't "last."
"You'll get used to things one of these days," says a forelady to me.
"That's what I'm afraid of," I told her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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