"But I imagine I am giving her credit for more maturity of thought and
discernment than her years permit. She must be young, and her
experiences would give her no means of understanding my life. She will
look at me with the frank, unsuspecting gaze of a child. She will
exercise toward me that blessed phase of charity which thinketh no evil
because ignorant of evil.
"Moreover, while I am familiar with the sin of the world, and have
contributed my share toward it, I am not in love with it; and I can
well believe that such a love as she might inspire would cause me to
detest it. If for her sake and other good motives, I should resolutely
and voluntarily; turn my back on evil, would I not have the right to
walk at the side of one who, by the goodhap of her life, knows no evil?
At any rate, I am not sufficiently magnanimous to forego the
opportunity should it occur. Therefore, among the lengthening shadows
of this June day I shall woo with my utmost skill one who may be able
to banish the deeper shadows that are gathering around my life; and if
I fail I shall carry the truth of her spring-time beauty and girlish
innocence back to the city, and their memory will daily warn me to
beware lest I lose the power to love and appreciate that which is her
pre-eminent charm.
"But enough of that phase of the question. There need be no failure in
my dream, however probable failure may be in reality. Let me imagine
that in her lovely face I may detect the slight curiosity inspired by a
stranger passing into interest. She will be shy and reserved at first;
but as the delicious sense of being understood and admired gains
mastery, her thoughts will gradually reveal her heart like the opening
petals of a rose, and I can reverently gaze upon the rich treasures of
which she is the unconscious possessor, and which I may win without
impoverishing her.
"Her ready laugh, clear and mellow as the robin's song that woke me
this morning, will be the index of an unfailing spring of
mirthfulness--of that breezy, piquant, laughing philosophy which gives
to some women an indescribable charm, enabling them to render gloom and
despondency rare inmates of the home over which they preside. When I
recall what dark depths of perplexity and trouble my mother often hid
with her light laugh, I remember that I have never yet had a chance
even to approach her in heroism. In my dream, at least, I can give to
my wife my mother's laugh and courage; and surely Nature, who has
endowed yonder maiden with so much beauty, has also bestowed every
suitable accompaniment. Wherefore I shall discover in her eyes
treasures of sunshine that shall light my home on stormy days and
winter nights.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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