Adah was no longer repulsive to me. The events of that memorable night
of storm and danger, and the experiences that followed, had apparently
awakened her better nature, which, although having a narrow compass,
was gentle and womanly. Her old flippancy was gone. My undisguised
preference for Miss Warren after I had actually made her acquaintance,
and my persistent blindness to everything verging toward sentiment, had
perhaps done something toward dispelling her belief that beauty and
dress were irresistible. Thus she may have been led honestly to compare
herself with Emily Warren, who was not only richly endowed but highly
cultivated; at any rate her small vanity had vanished also, and she was
in contrast as self-distrustful and hesitating in manner as she
formerly had been abrupt and self-asserting. Moreover she had either
lost her interest in her neighbor's petty affairs, or else had been
made to feel that a tendency to gossip was not a captivating trait, and
we heard no more about what this one said or that one wore on her
return from meeting. While her regard was undoubtedly sincere, I felt
and hoped that it was merely a sentiment attendant on her wakening and
fuller spiritual life, rather than an abiding and deep attachment; and
I believed that it would soon be replaced by other interests after my
departure. For my own sake as well as hers I had decided to leave the
farmhouse as speedily as possible, but I soon began to entertain the
theory that I could dispel her dreams better by remaining a little
longer, and by proving that she held the same place in my thoughts as
Zillah, and could possess no other. There would then be no vain
imaginings after I had gone.
I rather wanted to stay until I had fully recovered my health, for I
was beginning to take pride in my self-mastery. If I could regain my
footing, and stand erect in such quiet, manly strength as to change
Miss Warren's sympathy into respect only, I felt that I would achieve a
victory that would be a source of satisfaction for the rest of life.
That I could do this I honestly doubted, for seemingly she had
enthralled my whole being, and her power over me was wellnigh
irresistible.
I knew that she understood Adah even better than I did, and it seemed
her wish to afford the girl every opportunity, for she never came to
ask how I was when Adah was present; and the latter was honest enough
to tell me that it was Miss Warren who had suggested some of the simple
yet interesting stories with which my long hours of convalescence were
beguiled; but in her latent jealousy she could not help adding:
"Since Emily Warren selected them, thee cannot help liking them."
"I certainly ought to like them doubly," I had quietly replied, looking
directly into her eyes, "since I am indebted for them to two friends
instead of one."
"There's a great difference in friends," she said significantly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account