"It does indeed seem as if the truth between us could never be hidden,"
she said, bitterly. "You have now very clearly shown your estimate of
me. You regard me as one of those weak women of the past whom the
strongest carry off. You have been the stronger in this case--oh, you
know it well! Not even in the house of God could I escape your vigilant
scrutiny. You hoped and watched and waited for me to be false. Should I
yield to you, you would never forget that I had been false, and, in
accordance with your creed, you would ever fear--that is, if your
passion lasted long enough--the coming of one still stronger, to whom
in the weak necessity of my nature, I again would yield. Low as I have
fallen, I will never accept from a man a mere passion devoid of respect
and honor. I'm no longer entitled to these, therefore I'll accept
nothing."
She poured out these words like a torrent, in spite of my gestures of
passionate dissent, and my efforts to be heard; but it was a cold,
pitiless torrent. Excited as I was, I saw how intense was her
self-loathing. I also saw despairingly that she embraced me in her
scorn.
"Miss Warren," I said, dejectedly, "since you are so unjust to
yourself, what hope have I?"
"There is little enough for either of us," she continued, more
bitterly; "at least there is none for me. You will, no doubt, get
bravely over it, as you said. Men generally do, especially when in
their hearts they have no respect for the woman with whom they are
infatuated. Mr. Morton, the day of your coming was indeed the day of
_my_ fate. I wish you could have saved the lives of the others, but not
mine. I could then have died in peace, with honor unstained. But now,
what is my life but an intolerable burden of shame and self-reproach?
Without cause and beyond the thought of forgiveness, I've wronged a
good, honorable man, who has been a kind and faithful friend for years.
He is bringing his proud, aristocratic sister here to-night to learn
how false and contemptible I am. The people among whom I earned my
humble livelihood will soon know how unfit I am to be trusted with
their daughters--that I am one who falls a spoil to the strongest. I
have lost everything--chief of all my pearl of great price--my truth.
What have I left? Is there a more impoverished creature in the world?
There is nothing left to me but bare existence and hateful memories.
Oh, the lightning was dim compared with the vividness with which I've
seen it all since that hateful moment last night, when the truth became
evident even to Adah Yocomb. But up to that moment, even up to this
hour, I hoped you pitied me--that you were watching and waiting to help
me to be true and not to be false. I did not blame you greatly for your
love--my own weakness made me lenient--and at first you did not know.
But since you now openly seek that which belongs to another; since you
now exult that you are the stronger, and that I have become your spoil,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account