I feel, though I cannot yet see and realize the depths into which I
have fallen. Even to-day you might have helped me as a friend, and
shown me how some poor shred of my truth might have been saved; but you
snatch at me as if I were but the spoil of the strongest. Mr. Morton,
either you or I must leave the farmhouse at once."
"This is the very fanaticism of truth," I cried, desperately. "Your
mind is so utterly warped and morbid from dwelling on one side of this
question that you are cruelly unjust."
"Would that I had been less kind and more just. I felt sorry for you,
from the depths of my heart. Why have you had no pity for me? You are a
man of the world, and know it. Why did you not show me to what this
wretched weakness would lead? I thought you meant this kindness when
you said you wished my brother was here. Oh that I were sleeping beside
him! I thought you meant this when you said that nothing would last,
nothing could end well unless built on the truth. I hoped you were
watching me with the vigilance of a man who, though loving me, was so
strong and generous and honorable that he would try to save me from a
weakness that I cannot understand, and which was the result of strange
and unforeseen circumstances. When you were so ill I felt as if I had
dealt you your death-blow, and then, woman-like, I loved you. I loved
you before I recognized my folly. Up to that point we could scarcely
help ourselves. For weeks I tried to hide the truth from myself. I
fought against it. I prayed against it through sleepless nights. I
tried to hide the truth from you most of all. But I remember the flash
of hope in your face when you first surmised my miserable secret. It
hurt me cruelly. Your look should have been one of dismay and sorrow.
But I know something of the weakness of the heart, and its first
impulse might naturally be that of gladness, although honor must have
changed it almost instantly into deep regret. Then I believed that you
were sorry, and that it was your wish to help me. I thought it was your
purpose yesterday to show me that I could be happy, even in the path of
right and duty, that had become so hard, though you spoke once as you
ought not. But when I, unawares, and from the impulse of a grateful
heart, spoke your name last night as that of my truest and best friend,
as I thought, you turned toward me the face of a lover, and to-day--but
it's all over. Will you go?"
"Are Mr. and Mrs. Yocomb false?" I cried.
"No, they are too simple and true to realize the truth. Mr. Morton, I
think we fully understand each other now. Since you will not go, I
shall. You had better remain here and grow strong. Please let me pass."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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