"Another month's work will knock Morton into 'pi,'" was a remark that
caught my ear as I fumed from the composing-room back to my private
office. I had just irately blamed a printer for a blunder of my own,
and the words I overheard reminded me of the unpleasant truth that I
had recently made a great many senseless blunders, over which I chafed
in merciless self-condemnation. For weeks and months my mind had been
tense under the strain of increasing work and responsibility. It was my
nature to become absorbed in my tasks, and, as night editor of a
prominent city journal, I found a limitless field for labor. It was
true I could have jogged along under the heavy burden with
comparatively little wear and loss, but, impelled by both temperament
and ambition, I was trying to maintain a racer's speed. From casual
employment as a reporter I had worked my way up to my present position,
and the tireless activity and alertness required to win and hold such a
place was seemingly degenerating into a nervous restlessness which
permitted no repose of mind or rest of body. I worked when other men
slept, but, instead of availing myself of the right to sleep when the
world was awake, I yielded to an increasing tendency to wakefulness,
and read that I might be informed on the endless variety of subjects
occupying public attention. The globe was becoming a vast
hunting-ground, around which my thoughts ranged almost unceasingly that
I might capture something new, striking, or original for the benefit of
our paper. Each day the quest had grown more eager, and as the hour for
going to press approached I would even become feverish in my intense
desire to send the paper out with a breezy, newsy aspect, and would be
elated if, at the last moment, material was flashed in that would
warrant startling head-lines, and correspondingly depressed if the
weary old world had a few hours of quiet and peace. To make the paper
"go," every faculty I possessed was in the harness.
The aside I had just overheard suggested, at least, one very probable
result. In printer's jargon, I would soon be in "pi."
The remark, combined with my stupid blunder, for which I had blamed an
innocent man, caused me to pull up and ask myself whither I was
hurrying so breathlessly. Saying to my assistant that I did not wish to
be disturbed for a half hour, unless it was essential, I went to my
little inner room. I wished to take a mental inventory of myself, and
see how much was left. Hitherto I had been on the keen run--a condition
not favorable to introspection.
Neither my temperament nor the school in which I had been trained
inclined me to slow, deliberate processes of reasoning. I looked my own
case over as I might that of some brother-editors whose journals were
draining them of life, and whose obituaries I shall probably write if I
survive them. Reason and Conscience, now that I gave them a chance,
began to take me to task severely.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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