some such guide as yonder maiden, whose intuitions would be unerring
when the light of reason failed. In theory, I held the doctrine that
there was sex in mind as truly as in the material form. Now I was
inclined to act as if my doctrine were true, and to seek to double my
power by winning the supplemental strength and grace of a woman's soul.
Indeed, my day-dream was becoming exceedingly thrifty in its character,
and I assured ambition that the companionship of such a woman as yonder
maiden must be might become the very corner-stone of success.
Time passed, and still no one was "moved." Was my presence the cause of
the spiritual paralysis? I think not, for I was becoming conscious of
reverent feeling and deeper motives. If the fair face was my Gospel
message, it was already leading me beyond the thoughts of success and
ambition, of mental power and artistic grace. Her womanly beauty began
to awaken my moral nature, and her pure face, that looked as free from
guile as any daisy with its eye turned to the sun, led me to ask, "What
right have you to approach such a creature? Think of her needs, of her
being first, and not your own. Would you drag her into the turmoil of
your world because she would be a solace? Would you disturb the
maidenly serenity of that brow with knowledge of evil and misery, the
nightly record of which you have collated so long that you are callous?
You, whose business it is to look behind the scenes of life, will you
disenchant her also? It is your duty to unmask hypocrisy, and to drag
hidden evil to light, but will you teach her to suspect and distrust?
Should you not yourself become a better, truer, purer man before you
look into the clear depths of her blue eyes? Beware, lest thoughtlessly
or selfishly you sully their limpid truth."
"If she could be God's evangel to me, I might indeed be a better man,"
I murmured.
"That is ever the way," suggested Conscience; "there is always an 'if'
in the path of duty; and you make your change for the better depend on
the remote possibility that yonder maiden will ever look on you as
other than a casual stranger that caused a slight disturbance in the
wonted placidity of their meeting hour."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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