mentioned it to any one; and I used for a while to make a jest of it in
the circus, saying, “Take care of yourselves tonight, for I saw
Schatzchen.” Of course they were not the stuff to be deterred by such
warnings, but they became so at last. That they did, and were so
terrified, so thoroughly terrified, that the day after one of my visions
not a single member of the troupe would venture on a hazardous feat of
any kind; and if we performed at all, it was only some commonplace
exercises, with few risks, and no daring exploits whatever. Worn out
with evil fortune, crushed and almost broken-hearted, I struggled on for
years, secretly determining, if ever I should chance upon him, to buy
back Schatzchen with my last penny in the world. Indeed, there were
moments in which such was the intense excitement of my mind, I could
have committed a dreadful crime to regain possession of him. We were on
the eve of embarking for Ostend the other night, when I saw you riding
on the Downs, and I came ashore at once to track you out, for I knew
him, though fully half a mile away. None of my comrades could guess what
detained me, nor understand why I asked each of them in turn to lend me
whatever money he could spare. It was in this way I made up the little
purse you see. It was thus provided that I dared to present myself
to-day before you.”
“As he gave me this narrative, his manner grew more eager and excited,
and I could not help feeling that his mind, from the long-continued
pressure of one thought, had received a serious shock. It was exactly
one of those cases which physicians describe as leaving the intellect
unimpaired, while some one faculty is under the thraldom of a dominant
and all-pervading impression. I saw this more palpably, when, having
declined to accept more than his original offer of fifty pounds, I
replaced the remainder in his hand, he evinced scarcely any gratitude
for my liberality, so totally was he engrossed by the idea that the
horse was now his own, and that Fortune would no longer have any pretext
for using him so severely as before.
“'I don't know,--I cannot know,' said he, 'if fortune means to deal more
kindly by me than heretofore, but I feel a sort of confidence in the
future now; I have a kind of trustful courage as to what may come, that
tells me no disaster will deter me, no mishap cast me down.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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