A Day Well Spent: A Farce, in One ActOxenford, John
General
A Day Well Spent: A Farce, in One Act
Oxenford, John
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
NEW. Don't look so frightened, man; I have a bull-dog in each pocket.
(_Shewing pistols._)
MIZ. Sanguinary wretch! Don't let him see you, Charley--he'll blow out
the few brains we have in no time.
NEW. (_Opening door with key._) Here, the door is open; follow
quick--good examples should always be followed.
(_Exit through door._)
PRIG. I'm bless'd if I like it. Oh--h! I must put on the mask; (_does
so;_) old Cotton knows my good-looking face as well as his own: if he
caught a glimpse of me, I should be caught too.
(_BOLT rushes on him, and throws him down._)
BOLT. So you are, my chicken; think yourself lucky if you don't get
your neck twisted.
MIZ. Bravo, Charley! I'll stand and see fair play.--Take care number
one don't come and fire some Dartford superfine in your face.
PRIG. Oh, sir, I am very unwilling to be hanged.
BOLT. Then, most worthy character, take off that mask, as I have
unmasked you--take off that great coat, as I have dismantled your
villainy--and your hat off, because, because, I want it--and now take
yourself off.
PRIG. Yes, yes! I'll reform!--I feel a moral change already.
(_Runs off, R._)
(_BOLT dressing in PRIG'S clothes._)
MIZ. Why, Charley, what the deuce are you doing now?
BOLT. Disguising myself as a thief.
MIZ. I have not the slightest doubt of your being able to support the
character. But why?
BOLT. To walk in after that respectable gentleman.
MIZ. I shall not follow--better be sent home than shot.
BOLT. There will be two of us.
MIZ. Yes, and he has two pistols--can blow out our brains in
succession!--Highly advantageous.
BOLT. (_Feeling pockets._) There are no weapons in these pockets. You
had better follow.
NEW. (_Within._) Where the devil are you?
MIZ. No I sha'n't.
NEW. (_Comes to door._) Come along, thick-headed snail!
BOLT. Snail, do you call me! Ah, you don't know what I am.
(_Exit through door._)
MIZ. (_Comes forward._) Egad, there's one chance,--when master goes
home, that fellow may shoot him through the head--he can't find me
out--that would be lucky: but one linendraper should never desert
another;--I'll go into the kitchen--get the poker, and surprise the
rascal in the rear.
(_Exit, D. F._)
SCENE IX.
_Chamber, large cupboard in centre.--NEWGATE and BOLT discovered at
back, taking plate, and putting it in bag. NEWGATE has a lighted
lantern.--Dark._
NEW. Come, bustle about, man; you'll see twice as well if you take
that mask off.
BOLT. (_Aside._) My head would follow, I'm thinking.--No, I can see.
NEW. That's right. There go the spoons--there's the salver--there's
the god-papa's mug.
BOLT. Yes, we are in for the plate.
NEW. Ho, ho! you call that a joke?
BOLT. (_Aside._) More than I do anything else. If I am caught with
this fellow, I shall be hanged; and if I move, I shall be shot.
NEW. Don't mumble, but pack, pack!
_Enter CUTAWAY, HARRIET, COTTON, MISS BROWN, and MRS. STITCHLEY,
L. H._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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