A Day Well Spent: A Farce, in One ActOxenford, John
General
A Day Well Spent: A Farce, in One Act
Oxenford, John
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
MISS B. You seem uneasy. (_WAITER brings in, L. 2 E., fowls and a
newspaper: he leaves newspaper with COTTON, and then passes on to the
other table, where he places fowls, and exit, L. 2 E._)--Well, I shall
take off my cloak and bonnet. (_Does so, and hangs them on a chair._)
BOLT. Egad, as there is no exit, I must e'en make the best of it.
(_Sits down between ladies._) This wing?--a slice of the breast? &c.
MIZ. (_Aside._) If I could but pass that old curmudgeon! Egad, I have
it--they are all looking at the fowls, far more interesting objects
than myself.
(_Makes signs to BOLT--slips MISS BROWN'S cloak and bonnet off
chair--retires to back and puts them on._)
COT. (_Reading._) "Curious case of stealing clothes"--Um--um--sentence,
transportation.
(_MIZZLE passes back of screen._)
MRS. S. Mr. Addison is invisible.
BOLT. Oh, never mind him.
(_MIZZLE passes in front of COTTON, and exit L. 2 E._)
COT. What an extraordinary woman! "Mysterious disappearance."
BOLT. (_Horn sounds._) That sounds deuced near the window. Help
yourselves to the wings, ladies. Cut off the wings and they can't fly.
(_Retires back--the COACHMAN appears at window, R. F._)
COACH. Any one going?
(_BOLT is in the act of stepping from balcony._)
LADIES. (_Seeing him._) Stop him!
(_BOLT disappears with COACHMAN--the LADIES throw the screen over
COTTON, who gets up and beats the WAITERS--the LADIES scream.--Scene
closes._)
SCENE V.--_Chamber._
_Enter CUTAWAY, R._
CUT. Truly unfortunate and disagreeable!--my fair one torn from me in a
manner most unfair. Miss Harriet missing--all is gone but hope!--and
what does hope say? Something false, as usual? The lady loves the
marvellous.--No, hope reminds me that Harriet is sent to Mrs.
Chargely's, in this neighbourhood; and that if I could enter in a
feigned name--true, I can learn at the door if the old lion be in the
den--if the young dove be in her cage!--'gad, it will do!--What name can
I take?--I have it, Mr. Cotton has a foreman named Bolt--I'll call
myself Bolt; I dare say I'm like him; I never saw him; so don't know
the contrary. A happy exchange of names--The part of Bolt by Mr.
Cutaway.
(_Exit, L.H._)
SCENE VI.
_Room at Mrs. Chargely's. Large Gothic window, opening upon lawn._
_MRS. CHARGELY discovered sitting, and BRIDGET busied about._
MRS. C. Bridget!
BRIDG. Yes, ma'am.
MRS. C. Miss Harriet Cotton, according to the letter I read to you,
must soon be here. Heigho! a persecuted being, like I was at
seventeen.
BRIDG. La, ma'am!
MRS. C. Yes, her love is disapproved of, and she is sent here to be
far from the object of her affections. Heigho! just my case.
BRIDG. Why, ma'am, I thought the object of your affections ran away
from you.
MRS. C. Ahem! It might be so; but, however, Bridget, it came to just
the same thing in the end. My fate teaches _me_ mercy. I am determined
to shew every kindness to this Harriet, though my letter tells me that
Mr. Cutaway is dauntless in pursuing her;--just my case.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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