A dead man's diary : $b written after his decease — John Shaqi
A dead man's diary : $b written after his deceaseKernahan, Coulson
Philosophy
A dead man's diary : $b written after his decease
Kernahan, Coulson
Christian fiction; Future life -- Fiction; Heaven -- Fiction; Hell -- Fiction
Whether my death was succeeded by a season of slumber, in which certain
divinely ordered dreams were caused to be dreamed by me, or whether
God caused the hands on the dial of Time to be put back for a space in
order that I might see the past as He sees it, I neither knew nor know;
but I distinctly remember that the first thing of which I was conscious
after my dissolution was that the events of my past life were rising
before me. Yes, it was my past life, which I saw in that awful moment,
my past life standing out in its own naked and intolerable horror, an
abomination in the sight of God, and of my own conscience.
The hands on the dial of Time went back half a score, a score, and
finally a score and a half of years, and once more I was a young man of
twenty-one. The chambers in which I was then living were situated in
one of the well-known Inns off Holborn, and the housekeeper of the wing
where I was quartered was a widow, who, with her daughter Dorothy, a
girl of seventeen, resided on the premises.
As it was Dorothy's part to wait upon the occupants of the chambers,
she had occasion to come to my room several times in the day, and I
could not help noticing her loveliness, which, indeed, reminded me not
a little of my favourite Greuze picture. When I first knew her she
seemed maidenly and modest, but was vain beyond a question, and her
manner to the opposite sex was shy and self-conscious, with occasional
dashes of an artless and even childish coquetry which was most
bewitching. By this girl I was irresistibly and fatally fascinated. I
was young, susceptible, and singularly impressionable to female beauty,
whilst the loneliness and the monotony of the life I was leading were
in themselves elements of considerable danger; and to make matters
worse, it was only too evident that Dorothy was not indifferent to
my admiration. As I knew that it was but the fascination of form and
feature which attracted me, and that nothing but mischief was likely
to come of such a passion, I strove my hardest to steel myself against
her; but Fate seemed adverse, for one summer evening while I was
sitting in my study, waiting for a friend, there burst over London the
most fearful thunderstorm which I have ever witnessed. The lightning
was so vivid and the thunder so terrific, that even I, who am by no
means nervous about such things, felt strangely moved and unsettled;
and I was not a little glad, therefore, to hear what I took to be my
friend's knock. When I went to the door, however, I found that it was
not he, but Dorothy, and that she was white with fear, and trembling
from head to foot. "Oh, sir," she sobbed, "mother's out, and there's no
one else in but you, and I'm so frightened that I can't stay by myself.
If you'll only let me be here till she comes back, I'll be very quiet
and not disturb you in any way."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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