A dead man's diary : $b written after his deceaseKernahan, Coulson
Philosophy
A dead man's diary : $b written after his decease
Kernahan, Coulson
Christian fiction; Future life -- Fiction; Heaven -- Fiction; Hell -- Fiction
As a child I used to fancy that I found in a flower all my whitest
and purest thoughts crystallized into a thing; and now, though I am
a man, the white-pure thoughts of my childhood still live for me in
every flower that blossoms in the meadows; for the flowers bring me
back not only my vanished childhood, but my childhood's innocence
and peace. Even in those remote child-days I was persuaded that the
flowers were not of earth, but of heaven, nor while I had them could
I believe heaven to be so very far off, after all. "Else how could the
flower-seeds have been blown over its edge, and fallen down to the
earth-land?" I would say to myself. And I find myself fancying now, as
I fancied then, that God takes the flowers home to His heaven in the
winter, and every spring when I welcome them back, I feel that they
have come as direct from Him and from heaven as if He had leant down
out of the skies to give them to me; and I feel that they are not my
flowers, but His flowers; for even as I gather them to call them mine,
He puts forth His hand and claims them, so that they fade away again to
the heaven whence they came.
Yes, I love this world, and the things of it. To me the mere
consciousness of life is a gladness, the pulsing of my heart a
pleasure. I pencil the latter part of this chapter while lying lazily
in a sun-filled meadow, and as I write I seem to feel the very drawing
of my breath a joy. The sky spreads above me, a shimmering sea of
blue--not the cool, crystalline sapphire of early morning, but the deep
dense azure of a midsummer noon. How hot the bees must feel in that
furry coat! As I lie here, basking in the sunlight, and watching the
buttercups dancing and dipping above the grass, like golden banners
amid an army of green-bladed bayonets, I do not wonder that the poor
bees keep up a dull droning hum of monotonous murmuring. I can see the
hot air simmering and quivering above the clover fields, but all else
is drowsily, dreamily still. I know that the streets of the far-off
city are reeking and smoking with dry and dusty heat, but here I am in
another world, and the bees and the birds are my brothers. This meadow
is my boundless prairie; my head is below the level of the grass tops,
and they spread feathery, filmy arms above, like the boughs of a vast
forest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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