"'Remember me to your wife,' I heard her say. 'It is so early--she must
be asleep--I will not disturb her to say good-by. I shall write to her
from Paris--meanwhile, tell her--'
"She faltered again. Her voice sounded so timid and humble, she was so
perfect a picture of contrition and helplessness as she sat there,
afraid to look up, that I could not bear to let her suffer alone.
"I turned quickly toward her.
"'Shall we seek to deceive each other at this hour?' I said. 'It is
generous of you, but it shames me too much. I know why you wish to
leave us so suddenly; your brother has nothing to do with it; no, there
shall be no falsehood between us. I alone drive you away. You know that
I love you passionately. Listen to me patiently; I shall say nothing
unworthy of either of us. We three know it, therefore we can no longer
remain together. No one has been to blame. You esteem my wife too
highly, and me also--I know that you are my friend--to wish to bring
any trouble into our lives. Nothing is changed between my wife and me,
we live for each other as always before; but you are right, one should
not presume on such good fortune, and in time, even with the purest
intentions--'
"I do not know what more I said. I was looking down at her, and I can
see her head before me even yet, the narrow white part in the curly,
blue-black hair, and at the neck, the simple, heavy knot with a silver
pin. I saw that her bosom heaved painfully, and that the small hands on
the satchel trembled slightly. But I could not see her face.
"Suddenly she looked up, and her eyes as they met mine were full of
gratitude, but streaming with tears.
"'Lucile!' I cried, and falling on my knees before her, I drew her head
down with my hands. 'Farewell!' I stammered. She did not speak. I
pressed my lips to both her eyes, then tore myself away and fled from
the room. I hastened out of the house, down the nearest street, and up
the steep road toward Montreux. About half way there was a bench
standing against a vineyard wall. Halting there, I remained seated for
awhile with my eyes closed, in that stupefied state between pain and
pleasure, which usually comes to one who has done his duty at the cost
of a deep heart's need, or has renounced forbidden fruit.
"The morning remained sunless; a strong south wind wrapped the Savoyard
mountains in mist, and at length a slight rain began to fall. Looking
around, I saw the steamer which had landed at Vernex already well on
its way toward Vevey. I vainly strained my eyes to discover, among the
figures wrapped in rain-cloaks on the forward deck, her who was leaving
me forever. Then I slowly retraced my steps to the house, intending to
tell my wife of what had happened. But, first, I could not resist
entering the small salon below, for the door was still open.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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