"Aweel, an egg ilka day and ham and egg on Sundays onywye," compromised Annie. "An egg every second morning, Annie," I said firmly, "and ham and egg every second Sunday." "Ladies dinna mak good wives," said Janet. "Willie Macintosh along at Rinsley married a lassie that was a piano teacher, and she gets her breakfast in her bed and has a wumman to wash up. Aye, and she's ay dressed and oot after dinnertime. Aye, and she sends a' his collars to the laundry ... and he only wears a clean dicky on Sawbath." "Ah!" I said, "I'm glad you told me that, Janet; I won't risk marrying a lady. But tell me, Janet, how am I to know what sort of woman I am marrying?" "It's quite easy," she said slowly, "you just have to tear a button off your waistcoat and if she doesna offer to mend it ye shouldna tak her." "And speer at her what time she gets up in the mornin'," she added; "Maggie Tamson rises at five ilka mornin'." "Why are you so anxious that it should be Margaret?" I asked with real curiosity. Janet shook her head. "Aw just think she's in love wi' ye," she said simply; "she blushed." * * * I went out with my bugle to-night, and I sounded all the old calls. I finished up with "Come for Orders," and I walked slowly down the brae to the farm. Jim Jackson and Dickie Gibson came running up to me. "Ye played 'Come for Orders!'" panted Jim as he wiped his sweating face with his bonnet. "We'll soon remedy matters," I laughed, and I played the "Dismiss." Jim perched himself on a gate. "We'll hae to fall oot, Dick," he said with mock resignation, "come on and we'll sit here till we get oor wind back." And Dick climbed up beside him. "How are the lies getting on, Jim?" I asked. He shook his head dolefully. "We got an essay the day on The Discovery of America ... and ye canna tell mony lies aboot that. Aw just said that Columbus discovered America, and wrote aboot his ships. The new Mester says we must stick to the truth." "It is difficult to associate the truth with America," I said. "But there is a true side to this discovery business. To say that Columbus discovered America is a half-truth; the whole truth is that America isn't quite discovered yet. Andrew Carnegie was fairly successful, and Charlie Chaplin is another discoverer of note, but--" Jim clearly did not understand; he thought that I was pulling his leg. "How's the pond?" I asked, and was grieved to find that neither of the boys had any interest in it. "The Mester taks us oot and gies us object lessons on the minnows," said Dickie, and I groaned. "And the pigeons?" "Object lessons too," said Jim with evident disgust. "What family did he say doos belonged to, Dick?" Dick had no idea.