instincts of millions of our tree- and cave-dwelling ancestors on our
backs. My point, however, is that in spite of our weaknesses and
animalisms we are predominantly good. I am a caveman once in five years;
I am a reasoning humanitarian the rest of the time. You fasten on my
elemental side and refuse to think that there can be any good in my
humanitarian side.
"You see, I quite earnestly believe that your respect for law and
authority is genuine, almost religious, and the fact that I saw you
break the law by riding without a light doesn't make me doubt your
respect for law."
"I had had a puncture," he explained.
"Exactly! Extenuating circumstances. That's what I might plead when I
kick the boy who deliberately punctures my machine ... but you would
laugh. Why, I think I should start in to lecture _you_ on your
inconsistencies!"
I find that the worst man to answer is the fundamental antagonist. I
used to be stumped by the anti-socialist cry: Socialism will destroy
enterprise!... until I discovered that the best answer to this was: If
enterprise has made modern capitalism and industrialism, by all means
let it be destroyed. Macdonald will crow over what he considers my
failure to be consistent, but it will never once strike him that my
frank self-analysis is a thing that he will never practise himself.
Confound Macdonald! He has led me into defending myself; he never
defends himself when I attack him; he is far too cocksure to have any
doubts about himself.
V.
I am losing Jim Jackson. The battle for his soul is unequal. Macdonald
has him all the day, while I only see him at intervals. He came up to
the farm to-night, and he was morose in manner. His face is gradually
assuming a sneering expression, and his repartee is less spontaneous and
more biting. I managed to bring back his better self to-night, but I
fear that a day will soon come when he will sink his better self for
ever. His father and mother are people after Macdonald's own heart. They
are typical village folk, stupid and aggressive. Oh, I loathe the
village; it reminds me of George Douglas's Barbie in _The House with the
Green Shutters_; it is full of envy and malice and smallness. There are
too many "friends" in the village. Mrs. Bell is Mrs. Webster's sister,
and they have lived next door to each other for twenty-five years,
during which time they have not exchanged a single word. They quarrelled
over the division of their mother's goods. When the father dies they
will meet and weep together over his coffin; they will be inseparable
for a few days ... then they will have a row over the old grandfather
clock, and they won't speak to each other again.
Peter Jackson is a loud-mouthed fool, and his wife is a warrior. She has
the jaw of a prize-fighter. Jim was dissecting the front wheel of his
old bicycle the other night at the door, and I stopped to give him a
hand with the balls. His mother came to the door.
"Jim!" she rasped, "come away to yer bed!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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