"Nothing more, doctor?" said Huish dejectedly. "If I could only think
so! Oh, my darling! my darling," he whispered to himself, as his head
came down upon his hands for a moment when he started up, for Dr
Stonor's hand was upon his arm. "Oh, doctor!" he cried in anguished
tones, "I am haunted by these acts which I do and forget. I am
constantly confronted with something or another that I cannot
comprehend, and the dread is always growing on me that I shall some day
be a wreck. Oh, I have been mad to link that poor girl's life to such a
life as mine! Doctor--doctor--tell me--what shall I do?"
"Be a man," said the doctor quietly, "and don't worry yourself by
imagining more than is real. You are a deal better than when I saw you
last. You have not worried yourself more about the bite?"
"No, I have hardly thought of it. Dog-bite? But tell me, doctor, would
the virus from a dog-bite have any effect upon a man's mental
organisation?"
"Oh no, my dear boy; but you are better in health."
"I felt so well and happy to-day," he cried, "that all seemed sunshine.
Now all is cloud."
"Of course; yes!" said the doctor. "That shows you how much the
imagination has to do with the mental state. The greater part of my
patients are ill from anxiety. Now, look here, my dear John, the first
thing you have to bear in mind is that every man is a screw. There may
be much or little wrong, and it may vary from a tiny discoloration from
rust, up to a completely worn-out worm or a broken head. Your little
ailment is distressing; but so is every disorder. Keep yourself in good
health, take matters coolly, and in place of getting worse you may get
better, perhaps lose the absence of mind altogether. If you do not--
bear it like a man. Why trouble about the inevitable? I am getting on
in years now, and, my dear fellow, I know that some time or other I
shall be lying upon my deathbed gasping for the last breath I shall have
to draw. Now, my dear boy, do I sit down and make my life miserable
because some day I have got to die? Does anybody do so except a fool,
and those weakly-strung idiots who make death horrible when it is
nothing but the calm rest and sleep that comes to the worn-out body?
No; we accept the inevitable, enjoy life as it is given us, make the
best of our troubles and pains, and thank God for everything. Do you
hear me?"
"Yes, doctor, yes," said the young man sadly. "But this is very
dreadful!"
"So is a bad leg," said the doctor sharply. "There, I'll speak frankly
to you if you'll sit up and look me full in the face. Come, for your
young wife's sake, shake off this weak nervousness, and be ready to
fight. Don't lie down and ask disease to conquer you. Why, my dear
boy, speaking as an old fisherman, you're as sound as a roach, and as
bright as a bleak. Be a man, for your wife's sake, be a man!"
Huish drew a long breath. The doctor had touched the right chord, and
he sat up, looking pale but more himself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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