When he understood, dimly, what had happened, he began to raise
an agreeable hullabaloo, mingling imprecations on all and
sundry, with curses on the lady in particular, and cries of help
to the public and the police. Mrs. Lamb, for the third time that
day, was brought into contact with a constable. A policeman
appearing round the corner, perceiving Mr. Cottrell
gesticulating on the pavement, came sauntering up to learn what
was wrong. The butler explained.
"I give her into custody, that's what I do!--tried to murder me,
that's what she's done!--broken my brains out!--assault and
battery, that's what it is; and that's what I charge her with,
policeman. You put the handcuffs on her, and take her to the
station, and I'll come round and give all the evidence that's
wanted."
The officer was calmer than Mr. Cottrell. He heard the butler to
an end, then he glanced at his mistress.
"What's wrong?"
She explained.
"That man's my butler, although you would not think it to look
at him. He has taken advantage of my absence to get into that
condition. He kept me waiting for more than twenty minutes on
the doorstep, and then when he opened he was not only drunk but
insolent. I have dismissed him from my service, and put him into
the street, and out in the street he stops. I should be obliged
by your moving him away, and preventing his making a disturbance
in front of the house."
The policeman, who was young, leaped to the conclusion that
right was on the side of the lady. He was disposed to give the
butler but a short shrift.
"Now, then, move on! Away you go! We don't want any of your
nonsense here!"
Mr. Cottrell vehemently objected.
"Don't talk to me like that, policeman! She owes me three
months' wages; there's another nearly due, and another instead
of notice. You let her pay me five months' wages before she
talks of putting me out into the street."
The policeman looked up at the lady.
"Is what he says true?"
"It's an entire falsehood. Any claim he may have to make must be
made in the proper quarter."
She threw the door wide open. By now other members of the
household had, unwisely enough, come up to see what the
discussion was about. Her action revealed them.
"You see, officer, here are some more of my servants. They,
also, have taken advantage of my absence, and are like that
man--drunk. I dismiss them all--now. Perhaps you won't mind
coming in and seeing their boxes packed; I suspect them of
having property of mine in their possession."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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