A Duel in the Dark: An Original Farce, in One ActCoyne, J. Stirling (Joseph Stirling)
General
A Duel in the Dark: An Original Farce, in One Act
Coyne, J. Stirling (Joseph Stirling)
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
GREEN. Kill a fellow creature at the first word! Rash young man, we
must have two words to that! Let the signal be "_Death and Glory_;"
you shall take "_Death_" and I'll have "_Glory._"
MRS. G. And then fire? Very well, now mind your eye. "_Death!_"
GREEN. (_dodging about in great alarm_) Hollo! stop! stop! what are
you about? My glory is not ready for death!--let's deliberate a
little! (_GREENFINCH is now behind the stove_)
MRS. G. Oh, nonsense! I never deliberate--are you ready?
GREEN. Yes--I'm ready now!
MRS. G. Very well, then--look sharp! (_GREENFINCH ducks behind the
stove_) _Death!_
GREEN. _Glory!_ (_both fire; MRS. G. drops her pistol and falls into
chair, R.C., with a groan_) Hallo! What's that? Have I hit you?
MRS. G. Hit me? yes; the ball has penetrated my side--here--close to
the heart! I feel--I'm dying--give--give me your hand old fellow!
GREEN. Where are you?
MRS. G. Here--here! (_GREENFINCH stumbles against her_)
GREEN. Ha! he _is_ floored! What shall I do?--shall I call for
help?--run for the doctor? (_crosses to R._)
MRS. G. No--'tis no use! (_faintly_) Assist me to my room--will you?
(_GREENFINCH assists her_) Ah, you're a dead shot, Greenfinch!
GREEN. Ha! then I _am_ Greenfinch--you confess it?
MRS. G. Yes, you're the real original Greenfinch. Good bye, my boy, I
forgive you; but you'll be hanged for my murder if you're caught!
GREEN. Hanged for your murder! You don't mean that?
MRS. G. Yes, I do; we fought in the dark you know--that's murder--and
you'll be hanged for it--but you don't mind it.
GREEN. Don't I though! My good friend, you musn't think of
dying--consider the fatal consequence to _me!_
MRS. G. Can't help it--it's all over with me--good bye--your wife's an
angel--and I--I am--oh!---- (_drops her head on his shoulder and
feigns to die_)
GREEN. Good gracious! What do you mean? Hallo! (_shaking her_) there's
not a stir in him--he's dead--dead as the twelve Cæsars. Unfortunate
youth! he's gone to settle his long account, and has left a heavy
balance in my hands. What's to be done now? I know:--I'll conceal him
in the bedroom here (_moving towards door R., a scream is heard in
room L._) Bless me! what's that? Something dreadful, I'm sure! Oh,
lord, my knees are sinking under me--I havn't strength to move a step
further! (_staggers against the easy chair_) Ha! this
chair--providential thought--I'll cover him up in it. (_he places MRS.
G. in the chair, and throws the travelling cloak, which hangs on the
back of the chair over her, so as to completely conceal her_) Now I'll
make a coroner's inquest of myself and sit upon the victim's body!
(_sits_) Hah! what a dreadful position is mine! (_another scream in
room, L._) There again!
_Enter BETSY, with lighted candle, from room, 2 E. L.; stage light._
BETSY. Oh, sir! Mr. Greenfinch are you there?
GREEN. (_aside_) Which Greenfinch does she mean? him (_pointing to
MRS. G. behind him_) or me? Yes, Betsy, I'm here.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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