GREEN. (_without looking at her_) No! I'll be damm'd if you are! I'll stand it no longer--I don't know you! MRS. G. Don't know me? (_in her natural voice_) Don't know your own Maria Jane? GREEN. My Mari---- (_in amazement as he turns and sees his wife_) Hah, my wife! Why, you're not shot--you havn't got a bullet in your eye? MRS. G. No, my dear, I've nothing in my eye but a foolish little husband, whom I followed to Paris, and under the disguise of a Countess---- GREEN. Inveigled to Dieppe! I understand; you wanted to prove my constancy, and I've come out of the fire--like a brick! MRS. G. Hem! GREEN. Why, do you think I could ever have been attracted to you if there had not been a mysterious affinity between us? Never! My heart told me privately you were my Maria Jane. I knew you by sympathy! MRS. G. And my cousin, Charley, too? GREEN. Oh, don't mention him! he lies there (_points to chair_) a gory corpse beneath that cloak! (_he snatches cloak off the chair_) Hah! Am I dreaming? He's not there! MRS. G. No, because he's here! Ha, ha, ha! (_imitating_) Dem'me, if you want to be shot in a gentlemanly and artistic manner, I'm your man! Hey! _Death_ and _Glory_, old fellow! You're a dead shot, Greenfinch! GREEN. What! you're cousin Charley yourself! MRS. G. Of course I am! It was a plan of Betsy's and mine to punish you--the pistols were loaded with powder--the Gendarme is only the waiter, (_WAITER bows and exit, 3 E. L._) and as no harm has been done---- BETSY. I hope, sir, you'll forgive me? GREEN. Forgive you! I'm so happy I'll forgive the whole world! (_to the Audience_) Pity the failings of a poor young man, Whose trembling tongue---- MRS. G. Pray hold it--if you can! They don't want pathos, try to make them smile, I'll do it for you--something in this style:-- (_to the Audience_) Confiding wives with husbands prone to roam, Still hold the check string when they stray from home, Forbid the latch-key, and if wanting aid---- BETSY. Be sure to be attended by your maid. GREEN. And, husbands, when you follow lovely creatures, Avoid all sympathy with hidden features. And warned by how the present matter stands, I leave my case completely in your hands. R. BETSY. GREENFINCH. MRS. GREENFINCH. L. Curtain. Transcriber's Note This transcription is based on images digitized by the University of Toronto and posted by the Internet Archive at: archive.org/details/duelindarkanorig00coynuoft In general, this transcription attempts to retain the punctuation and spelling of the source text, including variant spellings such as "havn't" and "musn't." In a few cases where the quality of the images made a word or a punctuation mark hard to read, the obvious reading was considered the correct reading without comment. The following changes were made: