American fiction -- 19th century; Artists -- Fiction
Few realize to what degree the mind can become warped and disordered,
even with a brief time, by trouble and the violation of the laws
of health; and some, by education and temperament, are peculiarly
predisposed to abnormal conditions. Science has taught men how
to build ships with water-tight compartments, so that if disaster
crushes in on one side, the other parts may save from sinking.
There are fortunate people who are built on the same safe principle.
They have cultivated minds, and varied resources in artistic and
scientific pursuits. Above all else, they may have faith in God and
a better life to come; such possessions are like the compartments
of a modern ship. Few disasters can destroy them all, and in the
loss of one or more the soul is kept afloat by the others.
But it would seem that poor Ida's character had been constructed
with fatal simplicity, and when the cold waves of trouble rushed
in there was nothing to prevent her from sinking beneath them like
a stone. Her mind was uncultivated, and art, science, literature
offered her as yet no resources, no pursuits. She had a woman's
heart that might have been filled with sustaining love, but in its
place had come a sudden and icy flood of disappointment and despair.
She loved, with all the passion and simplicity of a narrow, yet
earnest nature, the man who had awakened the woman within her,
and he, she believed, would never give her aught in return, save
contempt. She naturally thought that she had been degraded in his
estimation beyond all ordinary means of redemption; therefore, in
her desperation and despair, she was ready to take an extraordinary
method of compelling at least his respect.
Moreover, Ida was impatient and impetuous by nature. She had a
large capacity for action, but little for endurance. It would be
almost impossible for her to reach woman's loftiest heroism, and
sit "like Patience on a monument, smiling at grief." It would be
her disposition rather to rush forward, and dash herself against an
adverse fate, meeting it even more than half way. All the influences
of her life had tended to develop imperiousness, willfulness, and
now her impulse was to enter a protest against her hard lot that
was as passionate and reckless as it was impotent.
Apart from her supreme wish to fill Van Berg with regret, and awaken
in him something like respect, the thought of dragging on a wretched
existence through the indefinite years to come was intolerable. The
color had utterly faded out of life, and left it bald and repulsive
to the last degree.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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