How to avert the threatened doom? How to save his Rachel's life?
Prayer would not avail, or he would have flown to it instinctively. It
was not that he asked himself the question, or that in his agony he
doubted or believed in the efficacy of prayer. It may be, indeed, that
he evaded it, for already a strange and terrible temptation was
invading the fortress of his soul. To save the life of his beloved was
he ready to commit a sin? What was the true interpretation of sin? A
perpetrated act which would benefit one human being to the injury of
another. Then if an act were perpetrated which would insure the
happiness and well-doing not of one human creature but of three, and
would inflict injury upon no living soul, that act was not a sin.
Unmistakably not a sin. But if this were really so, wherefore the
necessity for impressing it upon himself? The conviction that he was
acting justly in this hour of woe--that the contemplated act was not
open to doubt in a moral or religious sense--was in itself sufficient.
Wherefore, then, the iteration that it was not a sin?
He could not think the matter out in the presence of Rachel and of his
dead child. He stole down to his room, and gave himself up to
reflection. He turned down the gas almost to vanishing point, and
stood in the dark, now thinking in silence, now uttering his thoughts
aloud.
A friend had come to him and begged him to receive into his household
a babe, a girl, of the same age as his own babe lying dead in the room
above. She was deserted, friendless, alone. All natural claims had
been abandoned, and the infant was thrown upon the world, without
parents, without kith or kin. Even while he believed his own child to
be alive he had decided to accept the trust. Why should he hesitate
now that his child was dead? It was almost like a miraculous
interposition, or so he chose to present it to himself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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