"I knew nothing except that you were in trouble."
"Where did you find me?"
"In the snow, you and your child. A few minutes longer and it would
have been too late. But an angel directed my steps."
"No angel directed you. A devil led you on. Why did you not leave me
to die? It was what I went out for. I confess it," she cried
recklessly. "It was my purpose not to live; it was my purpose not to
allow my child to live! I was justified. Is not a quick death better
than a slow, lingering torture which must end in death? Why did you
save me? Why did you not leave me to die?"
"It would have been a crime."
"It would have been a mercy. You have brought me back to misery. I do
not thank you, doctor."
"You may live to thank me. Drink this tea; it will do you good."
She shook her head rebelliously. "What is the use? You have done me an
ill turn. Had it not been for you I should have been at peace. There
would have been no more hunger, no more privation. There would have
been an end to my shame and degradation."
"You would have taken it with you to the Judgment Seat," said Dr.
Spenlove with solemn tenderness. "There would have been worse than
hunger and privation. What answer could you have made to the Eternal
when you presented yourself before the throne with the crime of murder
on your soul?"
"Murder!" she gasped.
"Murder," he gently repeated. "If you went out to-night with an
intention so appalling it was not only your own life you would have
taken, it was the life of the innocent babe now slumbering by your
side. Can you have forgotten that?"
"No," she answered in a tone of faint defiance, "I have not forgotten
it; I do not forget it. God would have forgiven me."
"He would not have forgiven you."
"He would. What has she to live for? What have I to live for, a lost
and abandoned woman, a mother whose association would bring
degradation upon her child? How should I meet her reproaches when she
grew to be a woman herself? I am not ungrateful for what you have done
for me"--she glanced at the fire and the tea he held in his hand--"but
it cannot continue. To-morrow will come. There is always a to-morrow
to strike terror to the hearts of such as I. Do you know what I have
suffered? Do you see the future that lies before us? What hope is
there in this world for me and my child?"
"There is hope. You brought her into the world."
"God help me, I did!" she moaned.
"By what right, having given her life, would you rob her of the
happiness which may be in store for her?"
"Happiness!" she exclaimed. "You speak to me of happiness!"
"I do, in truth and sincerity, if you are willing to make a sacrifice,
willing to perform a duty."
"What would I not be willing to do," she cried despairingly, "what
would I not cheerfully do, to make her life innocent and happy--not
like mine, oh, not like mine! But you are mocking me with empty
words."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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