Days dragged on in the oppressive monotony peculiar to rural life when
there are no comforts or there is no executive work to be done, and
there is no material for mental occupation. In addition to the external
causes at work to take the management of household affairs away from
her, was an inner aversion that Arina Petrovna now felt to the petty
cares and bustle coming at the sunset of her life. Perhaps she would
have overcome her repugnance had she had an aim in view to justify her
efforts, but that very aim was wanting. Everybody was sick and weary
of her, and she was sick and weary of everybody and everything. Her
feverish activity of old suddenly yielded to idleness, and idleness
little by little corrupted her will and induced propensities of which
Arina Petrovna could never have dreamed only a few months ago.
The strong, reserved woman, whom no one would have thought of calling
old, turned into a wreck of her former self. There was neither past
nor future for her, but only the immediate moment to live through.
The greater part of the day she dozed, sitting in an easy-chair by
the table, on which ill-smelling cards were arranged. She would doze
for hours on end. Then her body would shudder convulsively, she would
wake up, look out of the window, and for a long time stare into the
distance, without a single conscious thought.
Pogorelka was a dreary manor-house. It stood all alone, without orchard
or shade, or the least indication of comfort. There was not even a
flower garden in front of the house. It was a one-story structure,
squat, weather-beaten, all black with age. Back of it were the many
out-buildings, also half worn-out, and all around was one vast stretch
of fields--fields without end. Not even the glimpse of forest anywhere
on the horizon. But from her very childhood Arina Petrovna had hardly
ever left the country, and this monotonous landscape did not seem
dreary to her. It even appealed to her heart and awakened remnants of
emotion still glowing within her. The best part of her being lived in
these naked fields, and her gaze sought them instinctively.
She stared at the expanse of fields; she stared at the drenched hamlets
making black specks on the landscape; she stared at the white churches
of the rural parishes; she stared at the motley spots that the cloud
shadows formed on the plains; she stared at the peasant unknown to her
who walked along the ploughed furrows, and she thought him slow and
stiff. While staring, she had no conscious thoughts, or, rather, her
thoughts were so fragmentary and disconnected that they could not stay
with any one thing for even a short time. She just gazed, gazed till
senile slumber again hummed dully in her ears, and the fields, the
churches, the hamlets and the peasant in the distance became wrapped in
mist.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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