Ethics -- Fiction; Religion and sociology -- Fiction; Upper class families -- Fiction
My parents were not wholly easy in their minds concerning me; they were
bewildered by the new aspect I presented. For my lately acquired motive
was strong enough to compel me to restrict myself socially, and the
evenings I spent at home were given to study, usually in my own room.
Once I was caught with a Latin grammar: I was just “looking over it,” I
said. My mother sighed. I knew what was in her mind; she had always
been secretly disappointed that I had not been sent to college. And
presently, when my father went out to attend a trustee's meeting, the
impulse to confide in her almost overcame me; I loved her with that
affection which goes out to those whom we feel understand us, but I was
learning to restrain my feelings. She looked at me wistfully.... I knew
that she would insist on telling my father, and thus possibly frustrate
my plans. That I was not discovered was due to a certain quixotic twist
in my father's character. I was working now, and though not actually
earning my own living, he no longer felt justified in prying into my
affairs.
When June arrived, however, my tutor began to show signs that his
conscience was troubling him, and one night he delivered his ultimatum.
The joke had gone far enough, he implied. My intentions, indeed, he
found praiseworthy, but in his opinion it was high time that my father
were informed of them; he was determined to call at my father's office.
The next morning was blue with the presage of showers; blue, too,
with the presage of fate. An interminable morning. My tasks had become
utterly distasteful. And in the afternoon, so when I sat down to make
out invoices, I wrote automatically the names of the familiar customers,
my mind now exalted by hope, now depressed by anxiety. The result of
an interview perhaps even now going on would determine whether or no I
should be immediately released from a slavery I detested. Would Mr.
Wood persuade my father? If not, I was prepared to take more desperate
measures; remain in the grocery business I would not. In the evening,
as I hurried homeward from the corner where the Boyne Street car had
dropped me, I halted suddenly in front of the Peters house, absorbing
the scene where my childhood had been spent: each of these spreading
maples was an old friend, and in these yards I had played and dreamed.
An unaccountable sadness passed over me as I walked on toward our
gate; I entered it, gained the doorway of the house and went upstairs,
glancing into the sitting room. My mother sat by the window, sewing. She
looked up at me with an ineffable expression, in which I read a trace of
tears.
“Hugh!” she exclaimed.
I felt very uncomfortable, and stood looking down at her.
“Why didn't you tell us, my son?” In her voice was in truth reproach;
yet mingled with that was another note, which I think was pride.
“What has father said?” I asked.
“Oh, my dear, he will tell you himself. I--I don't know--he will talk to
you.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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