Ethics -- Fiction; Religion and sociology -- Fiction; Upper class families -- Fiction
She had managed rather marvellously to redeem one room from the
old-fashioned severity of the rest of the house, the library behind the
big "parlour." It was Nancy's room, eloquent of her daintiness and taste,
of her essential modernity and luxuriousness; and that evening, as I was
ushered into it, this quality of luxuriousness, of being able to shut out
the disagreeable aspects of life that surrounded and threatened her,
particularly impressed me. She had not lacked opportunities to escape. I
wondered uneasily as I waited why she had not embraced them. I strayed
about the room. A coal fire burned in the grate, the red-shaded lamps
gave a subdued but cheerful light; some impulse led me to cross over to
the windows and draw aside the heavy hangings. Dusk was gathering over
that garden, bleak and frozen now, where we had romped together as
children. How queer the place seemed! How shrivelled! Once it had had the
wide range of a park. There, still weathering the elements, was the
old-fashioned latticed summer-house, but the fruit-trees that I recalled
as clouds of pink and white were gone.... A touch of poignancy was in
these memories. I dropped the curtain, and turned to confront Nancy, who
had entered noiselessly.
"Well, Hugh, were you dreaming?" she said.
"Not exactly," I replied, embarrassed. "I was looking at the garden."
"The soot has ruined it. My life seems to be one continual struggle
against the soot,--the blacks, as the English call them. It's a more
expressive term. They are like an army, you know, overwhelming in their
relentless invasion. Well, do sit down. It is nice of you to come. You'll
have some tea, won't you?"
The maid had brought in the tray. Afternoon tea was still rather a new
custom with us, more of a ceremony than a meal; and as Nancy handed me my
cup and the thinnest of slices of bread and butter I found the intimacy
of the situation a little disquieting. Her manner was indeed intimate,
and yet it had the odd and disturbing effect of making her seem more
remote. As she chatted I answered her perfunctorily, while all the time I
was asking myself why I had ceased to desire her, whether the old longing
for her might not return--was not even now returning? I might indeed go
far afield to find a wife so suited to me as Nancy. She had beauty,
distinction, and position. She was a woman of whom any man might be
proud....
"I haven't congratulated you yet, Hugh," she said suddenly, "now that you
are a partner of Mr. Watling's. I hear on all sides that you are on the
high road to a great success."
"Of course I'm glad to be in the firm," I admitted.
It was a new tack for Nancy, rather a disquieting one, this discussion of
my affairs, which she had so long avoided or ignored. "You are getting
what you have always wanted, aren't you?"
I wondered in some trepidation whether by that word "always" she was
making a deliberate reference to the past.
"Always?" I repeated, rather fatuously.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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