Science fiction; Space stations -- Fiction; Suicide -- Fiction
"Firelie Gluck," he whispered, and laughed. "I heard a name once before
like that, at a circus."
"Was she pretty?"
Condemeign stared at the hands of an old grandfather's clock across the
great room.
"She was the bearded lady," he said. He walked away from her, thumbing
his guide to Nepenthe. He hoped the drink she'd given him wasn't a
watery passport to hell, for a while at least.
The guide advertised an excursion service on the outer skin of the
great cube. He'd known about this, of course, but now he also knew how
to reach it. The trip consumed a few gravity lifts, a turn or two in
branching corridors and ended in an airlock attached to a luxurious
bar. He had a Manhattan or two while an attendant fitted a spacesuit
on him.
"You're sure you're not subject to giddiness, sir? If you are, I
wouldn't advise shutting off the magnetic shoes. The bulk of the
structure will keep you from flying away too far, but...."
"It will be quite all right," Condemeign said. He drained the last
glass and let the attendant help him to the airlock opening.
"The oxygen cartridge lasts just an hour, sir, remember that," the
attendant said.
Condemeign smiled. For him it might last two minutes. But the clock
over the bar told him that even with that, and given a few more minutes
of slow, numbing asphyxiation, he'd be able to do the job he'd come to
Nepenthe to do. In fact, if they weren't too fussy about picking up
bodies before the oxygen cylinder exhausted itself, he could do the job
dead as well as alive.
The door closed behind him and then a great glass wheel in front of
him opened and there was a little, abrupt snowfall as the air in the
chamber condensed into crystal. He inched forward to the edge of the
cube and pulled himself out on the surface.
* * * * *
Above and behind him, the sun blazed hot and silent in the crawling
sky. He watched the slow revolution of the heavens above him,
fascinated, for a moment, stared as the great ball of the earth jumped
over the far boundary of the great metal field and began climbing up,
dragging its moon. He staggered. The flat side of the three mile cube
seemed to wobble and he realized that the attendant's warning had been
far from overcautious. A man might go mad out in this absolute silence,
bounded now by nothing but the great black wall of the universe and its
billions of pinholes. He closed his eyes, listening to the tick of his
wristwatch and then opened them suddenly, as he realized that the watch
was gone.
He remembered how close she'd been, how neatly she'd fallen against
him, pinching him with one hand, while, with the other she slipped the
simple catch of the watchband and palmed it. And he'd never noticed.
Firelie Gluck. He laughed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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