American fiction -- 19th century; California -- Fiction; Contra Costa County (Calif.) -- Fiction; Western stories
There were, as already stated, four blessed pages of it! All vital,
earnest, palpitating with youthful energy, preposterous in premises,
precipitate in conclusions,--yet irresistible and convincing to every
woman in their illogical sincerity. There was not a word of love in it,
yet every page breathed a wholesome adoration; there was not an epithet
or expression that a greater prude than Mrs. Ashwood would have objected
to, yet every sentence seemed to end in a caress. There was not a
line of poetry in it, and scarcely a figure or simile, and yet it was
poetical. Boyishly egotistic as it was in attitude, it seemed to be
written less OF himself than TO her; in its delicate because unconscious
flattery, it made her at once the provocation and excuse. And yet so
potent was its individuality that it required no signature. No one but
John Milton Harcourt could have written it. His personality stood out of
it so strongly that once or twice Mrs. Ashwood almost unconsciously
put up her little hand before her face with a half mischievous,
half-deprecating smile, as if the big honest eyes of its writer were
upon her.
It began by an elaborate apology for declining the appointment offered
him by one of her friends, which he was bold enough to think had been
prompted by her kind heart. That was like her, but yet what she might
do to any one; and he preferred to think of her as the sweet and gentle
lady who had recognized his merit without knowing him, rather than the
powerful and gracious benefactress who wanted to reward him when she did
know him. The crown that she had all unconsciously placed upon his head
that afternoon at the little hotel at Crystal Spring was more to him
than the Senator's appointment; perhaps he was selfish, but he could not
bear that she who had given so much should believe that he could accept
a lesser gift. All this and much more! Some of it he had wanted to say
to her in San Francisco at times when they had met, but he could not
find the words. But she had given him the courage to go on and do the
only thing he was fit for, and he had resolved to stick to that, and
perhaps do something once more that might make him hear again her voice
as he had heard it that day, and again see the light that had shone in
her eyes as she sat there and read. And this was why he was sending her
a manuscript. She might have forgotten that she had told him a strange
story of her cousin who had disappeared--which she thought he might
at some time work up. Here it was. Perhaps she might not recognize it
again, in the way he had written it here; perhaps she did not really
mean it when she had given him permission to use it, but he remembered
her truthful eyes and believed her--and in any event it was hers to do
with what she liked. It had been a great pleasure for him to write it
and think that she would see it; it was like seeing her himself--that
was in HIS BETTER SELF--more worthy the companionship of a beautiful and
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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