England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Schools -- Fiction; Teenage girls -- Fiction
"Mrs and Miss Bozerne," said mamma to the footman, a nasty tall, thin,
straggley young man, with red hair that would not brush smooth, and a
freckly face, a horrible caricature of our John, in a drab coat and
scarlet plushes, and such thin legs that I could not help a smile. But
he was terribly thin altogether, and looked as if he had been a page-boy
watered till he grew out of knowledge, and too fast; and he clung to the
door in such a helpless way, when he let us in, that he seemed afraid to
leave it again, lest he should fall.
"This way, ladies," he said, with a laugh-and-water sort of a smile; and
he led us across a handsome hall, where there were four statues and a
great celestial globe hanging from the ceiling--only the globe hanging;
though I'm sure it would have been a charity and a release for some
young people if a few of the muses had shared the fate of the globe--at
all events, that four. First and foremost of all was Clio. I wish she
had been hung upon a date tree!
"This way, ladies," said the tall creature, saving himself once more
from tippling over by seizing the drawing-room door-handle, and then, as
he turned and swung by it, sending the blood tingling into my cheeks by
announcing--
"Mrs and Miss Bosom."
Any one with a heart beating beneath her own can fancy our feelings. Of
course I am aware that some unfeeling, ribald men--I do not include
thee, oh, Achille!--would have turned the wretch's blunder into a
subject for jest; but thanks to the goddess of _Bonheur_, there was none
of the race present, and Mrs Fortesquieu de Blount came mincing
forward, smiling most benignly in her pet turban.
A dreadful old creature--I shall never forget her! Always dressed in
black satin, a skin parting front, false teeth, and a thick gold chain
hung over her shoulders; while the shocking old thing always thrust
everything artificial that she wore right under your eyes, so that you
could not fail to see how deceptive she was.
She was soon deep in conversation with mamma; while I looked wearily
round the room, which was full to overflowing with all sorts of fancy
work, so that you could not stir an inch without being hooked, or
caught, or upsetting something. There were antimacassars,
sofa-cushions, fire-screens, bead-mats, wool-mats, crochet-mats,
coverings for the sofa, piano, and chimney-piece, candle-screens,
curtains, ottomans, pen wipers--things enough, in short, to have set up
a fancy fair. And, of course, I knew well enough what they all meant--
presents from pupils who had been foolish enough to spend their money in
buying the materials, and then working them up to ornament the old
tabby's drawing-room.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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