But wait! There was an example of bravado on my part that shall not
go unrecorded. I hesitated at first to put it down in writing, but my
sense of honour urges me to confess everything. It happened just after
that memorable picnic luncheon in the shady dell. The Countess, I
maintain, was somewhat to blame for the incident. She suggested that
we,--that is to say, the two of us,--explore the upper recesses of
this picturesque spot while the others were making ready for the
resumption of our journey.
Shame, contrition, humiliation or whatever you may elect to call it,
forbids a lengthy or even apologetic explanation of what followed her
unfortunate suggestion. I shall get over with it in as few words as
possible.
In the most obscure spot in all those ancient hills, I succumbed to
an execrable impulse to take her forcibly in my arms and kiss her! I
don't know why I did it, or how, but that is just what happened. My
shame, my horror over the transcendental folly was made almost
unbearable by the way in which she took it. At first I thought she had
swooned, she lay so limp and unresisting in my arms. My only excuse,
whispered penitently in her ear, was that I couldn't help doing what
I had done, and that I deserved to be drawn and quartered for taking
advantage of my superior strength and her gentle forbearance. Strange
to say, she merely looked at me in a sort of dumb wonder and quietly
released herself, still staring at me as if I were the most inexplicable
puzzle in the world. Her cheeks, her throat, her brow grew warm and
pink with a just indignation; her lips parted but she uttered no word.
Then I followed her dejectedly, cravenly back to the roadside and
executed an inward curse that would hang over my miserable head so
long as it was on my shoulders.
Her vivacity was gone. She shrank down into the corner of the seat,
and, with her back half turned toward me, gazed steadfastly at the
panoramic valley which we were skirting. From time to time I glanced,
at her out of the corners of my eyes, and eventually was somewhat
relieved to see that she had closed her own and was dozing. My soul
was in despair. She loathed, despised me. I could not blame her. I
despised myself.
And yet my heart quickened every time I allowed myself to think of the
crime I had committed.
The day was a glorious one and the road more than passably good. We
bowled along at a steady rate of speed and sundown found us about
twenty-five miles from our destination. Not caring to run the risk of
a prolonged stay in the town, we drew up at a roadside inn and had our
dinner in the quaint little garden, afterwards proceeding leisurely
by moonlight down the sloping highway.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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