Schuyler interrupted, quickly.
Parks nodded.
"Yes, sir. The lady."
Schuyler said, eyes closing a little:
"A lady."
"Well, send her--" Then, as Parks started to go: "No, tell her I'm not
here."
"Very well, sir."
Again Parks started to leave the room; again Schuyler stopped him.
"Wait. I've changed my mind. I'll see her."
He reached for the decanter of brandy, and poured into one of the glasses
an even inch of the amber liquor. He raised the glass to his lips; but
set it down again untasted; for Parks had started to speak again.
"Also there's a van here for your wife's--pardon me, for Mrs. Schuyler's
furniture and trunks."
Schuyler's brows contracted; there was the slightest suggestion of a
quiver at lip-ends. Then, after a long, long pause, he replied:
"Well, let them take all that she selected.... And Parks."
"Yes, sir?"
"I won't see the lady after all."
Parks nodded, and quietly withdrew. Left alone, Schuyler for some moments
sat silent and motionless before his desk. But nowadays, he could not sit
motionless for long. There was that inside his brain--inside his soul--
which would not let him. It kept him moving--moving--moving, without
rest, without cessation; even as he had paced the deck of the liner, on
that other morning, almost until the day had come to claim again from the
night that which was its own.
Of a sudden he rose from his chair. Swift strides took him across the
room. Quickly, nervously, he drew back the curtain from the window.... He
could see, beneath him in the street, the van that had come for the
belongings of his wife--of the woman who had borne him his child--the
child which he had not seen since, upon the dock, she had waved him
farewell.
John Schuyler had wandered into the Unknown. Unwillingly, knowing full
well what he was doing, but powerless to help--powerless to prevent--he
had gone.... Sometimes it did not seem real to him. It was a nightmare--
a horrid, horrible, awful, grewsome, rotten dream, a dream that brought
to his nostrils a stench--to his soul a coldness unutterable--a coldness
beside which that of death might seem a grateful warmth.... He would wake
sometimes from his dreams, a cold sweat enveloping him like a pall, a
scream upon his lips.... And then, again--He did not understand. He could
not understand. It was hopeless, utterly, utterly hopeless.... Why should
such things be? How could such things be? There was a God, presumably.
Presumably, that God was good.... There was no logic in it--no reason in
it.... What did it all mean? "Why?" he asked himself, again and again,
and yet again. "Why?" ... There had been no answer....
He watched the van load. He watched the heavy horses throw themselves
into the traces, as the whip fell across their flanks. He watched the van
slowly gather momentum. He watched it rumble heavily down the sodden
asphalt.... At length it turned the corner....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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