A Gentleman Vagabond and Some OthersSmith, Francis Hopkinson
General
A Gentleman Vagabond and Some Others
Smith, Francis Hopkinson
Short stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
The next morning I was awakened by a rumbling in the lower hold, as if the
cargo was being shifted. Then came a noise like the moving of heavy
barrels on the upper deck forward of the companionway. The next instant my
door was burst open, and in stalked two brawny, big-armed fish-girls,
yarn-stockinged to their knees, and with white sabots and caps. They were
trundling the lower half of a huge hogshead.
"Pour le bain, monsieur," they both called out, bursting into laughter, as
they rolled the mammoth tub behind my bed, grounded it with a revolving
whirl, as a juggler would spin a plate, and disappeared, slamming the door
behind them, their merriment growing fainter as they dropped down the
companionway.
I peered over the head-board, and discovered the larger half of an
enormous storage-barrel used for packing fish, with fresh saw-marks
indenting its upper rim. Then I shouted for Baeader.
Before anybody answered, there came another onslaught, and in burst the
same girls, carrying a great iron beach-kettle filled with water. This,
with renewed fits of laughter, they dashed into the tub, and in a flash
were off again, their wooden sabots clattering down the steps.
There was no mistaking the indications; Baeader's bath had arrived.
I climbed up, and, dropping in with both feet, avoiding the splinters and
the nails, sat on the sawed edge, ready for total immersion. Before I
could adjust myself to its conditions there came another rush along the
companionway, accompanied by the same clatter of sabots and splashing of
water. There was no time to reach the bed, and it was equally evident that
I could not vault out and throw myself against the door. So I simply
ducked down, held on, and shouted, in French, Normandy patois, English:--
"Don't come in! Don't open the door! Leave the water outside!" and the
like. I might as well have ruined my throat on a Cancale lugger driving
before a gale. In burst the door, and in swept the Amazons, letting go
another kettleful, this time over my upper half, my lower half being
squeezed down into the tub.
When the girls had emptied the contents of this last kettle over the
edge, and caught sight of my face,--they evidently thought I was still
behind the head-board,--both gave one prolonged shriek that literally
roused the house. The brawnier of the two,--a magnificent creature, with
her corsets outside of her dress,--after holding her sides with laughter
until I thought she would suffocate, sank upon the sea-chest, from which
her companion rescued her just as Mme. Flamand and Baeader opened the door.
All this time my chin was resting on the jagged rim of the tub, and my
teeth were chattering.
"Baeader, where in thunder have you been? Drag that chest against that door
quick, and come in. Is this what you call a bath?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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