thought that such an intellect as his should be thus wasted. He is a man
who might have done almost anything in the scientific world, and now he
seems destined to waste his life, a dreamer of dreams, a sort of modern
St. Francis in a world lacking in idealism, and where he will be looked
upon as a wandering lunatic rather than a saint."
I sat silent for a few minutes. I had not quite realised that poor
Armitage had come to this--a frequenter of casual wards, a homeless and
wandering lunatic; my brother was right, the world would judge him as
such. I was not, however, in the least surprised at the news.
The servants had by now come down and we had breakfast brought to the
study, and I gave Raymond an account of my night's proceedings. When I
concluded my brother said,
"Well, Isabel, you will remain almost alone at the _Tocsin_. Kosinski is
leaving, Giannoli is gone, Armitage is otherwise occupied. Will you be
able to keep it going?"
"Oh, I could keep it going," I replied. "There are still a lot of
comrades hanging on to it; new ones are constantly turning up. The
work can be done between us, there is no doubt of that. It is rather
of myself that I doubt. I begin to feel isolated in the midst of the
others; I cannot believe that people like Short and Simpkins can change
Society; they would have to begin reforming themselves, and that they
are incapable of. I can admire a man like Kosinski: I cannot exactly
sympathise with him. As to Armitage, I can only grieve that he should
thus waste his life and talents. Probably, had he thought a little more
of his personal happiness, he would have avoided falling a victim to
monomania, for such he is in part. And then--and then--it is not only
of others that I doubt, but of myself. Am I really doing any good? Can
I sincerely believe that the _Tocsin_ will help towards the regeneration
of mankind? Can mankind be regenerated? When such questions never
occurred to me, or, if they did, were answered by my brain with an
unhesitating affirmative, then it was easy to work. No difficulties
could daunt me; everything seemed easy, straightforward. But now--but
now...."
"Well, then, why don't you give it up, Isabel?"
"Give it up? Oh, how could I? I have never really thought of that. Oh
no; the paper must come out. I have undertaken it. I must go on with
it."
"And you an Anarchist! Why, I always thought you believed in the
absolute freedom of the individual, and here you are saying that
you must go on with a work in which you no longer feel the
requisite confidence, for the mere reason that you once, under other
circumstances, started it."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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