it was I, with my more passionate and enterprising nature, who took
the lead, now it was he who, mixing with the outer world, provided the
stimulus of new ideas and fresh activities for which I craved. Brought
suddenly face to face, after the studious seclusion of home, with the
hard facts of life as seen in a London hospital, he had begun to take
a deep interest in social questions. The frightful havoc of life and
happiness necessitated by the economic conditions of nineteenth-century
society, impressed him deeply, and he felt that any doctor who looked
upon his profession as other than a mere means to make money must tackle
such problems. Following up this line of thought he became interested
in economics and labour questions. His views were the result of no mere
surface impression, but the logical outcome of thought and study, and he
arrived at socialism by mental processes of his own, uninfluenced by
the ordinary channels of propaganda. I shared his interests and read
on parallel lines. We had no friends in Socialist circles, no personal
interest of any kind balanced our judgment. The whole trend of our
education had been to make independent thinkers of us. What we saw in
the whole problem was a question of justice, and for this we were ready
and anxious to work. A new interest was thus brought into our lives,
which, in my case, soon became all-absorbing. I was always begging my
brother to bring me home fresh books. The driest volumes of political
economy, the most indigestible of philosophical treatises, nothing came
amiss. From these I passed on to more modern works. Raymond had made
friends with a student who was a professed socialist and through him he
came into possession of a number of pamphlets and papers, all of which
I devoured eagerly, and some of which made a lasting impression on my
mind. Krapotkin's "Appeal to the Young" was of this number. I remember
in my enthusiasm reading it aloud to my sister Caroline, who, however,
took scant interest in such matters, and who tried, but in vain, to put
a damper on my enthusiasm.
I was always fond of scribbling, and the outcome of all this reading was
that I, too, flew to pen and paper. I used to read my papers to Raymond
on those rare occasions when I fancied I had not done so much amiss.
They would provide the material for an evening's conversation, then I
would toss them aside and think no more about them. One day, however,
Raymond brought his Socialist friend home with him. It seems they
had talked about me and my all-absorbing interest in social subjects.
Hughes, my brother's friend, had been surprised to hear from Raymond
that I knew no socialists in the flesh, and that all my hero-worship was
laid before the altar of mental abstractions, of my own creation for the
most part.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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