"And then you ask me out to tea to keep me from feeling dull, and Waddy says what a pleasant thing it is to have my organ and choir practice as a recreation. And you quite expect me to go on living like this for years! It's just stagnation of soul and body, that's what it is. And God in heaven looks down, and wonders when I'm going to begin to live!" Thorold was not shocked at this outburst. He was surprised, but he concealed that, and said in his slow voice: "And what is your idea of life? You have mentioned God Almighty's name, and I know you have not used it in mockery. Is it your idea to carry out His will or your own?" "Oh, I don't know, but He has made me, I do believe, for something better than this. What a big world it is! And how much there is to do. Sir Gilbert talks to me about Heaven's purposes, and the earth's failures. I have brains, and strength, and leisure, and I can't sit about in armchairs and just be comfortable—I'm too young for it. And I have an uncomfortable feeling that I'm living on Waddy's savings. She always tells me there's plenty of money for our needs. But where does it come from? I don't earn enough to keep the house going. Miss Anne is very generous, and I shall be able to support myself on what she gives me, but I shan't be able to save much. And my life is too easy, and empty, and narrow. There now! That's the gist of the matter! I shall break away soon—I must. It's the Bubble's efforts to soar, before it bursts!" "But you have had one effort to break away, haven't you? And it wasn't altogether a success." "I knew that would come. I have failed. I own it. It is your nasty English people that have made me fail. But there are other vocations besides driving motors." "I fear you are tired of it by now." Laughter came into her eyes. "Oh, I'm an awful creature, I know I am. Two days ago I was enchanted with this fresh job. I am cross to-day because I must make my car's speed match a horse's. But, all the same, deep down, I know my soul is meant to do something bigger. And I want to find out the biggest and best thing to do, and then DO it!" "There are different estimates of size, I fancy," said Thorold. "We are like the children who think an orange in their hand much bigger than the brightest planet in the heavens. Our big things are so infinitesimal in God's eyes, and His big things are paltry and small in our estimation." "That doesn't comfort or guide me in the least," said Gentian, looking at him thoughtfully. "If you want to fulfil God's purpose for you, it will be shown you. Pray, and the answer will come." Gentian drew in a long breath. "I never thought that you were quite so good, Cousin Thorold," she said in a light and airy voice. "Thank you so much for having taken me seriously for once. I've had enough—" He smiled at her. "I'll say no more then—" He got up from the seat. Gentian accompanied him as far as the gate.