A Golden Venture: The Lady of the Barge and Others, Part 11.Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
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A Golden Venture: The Lady of the Barge and Others, Part 11.
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
He had only the glimmering of an idea at first, but after a couple of
pints at the "Bell" everything took shape, and he cast his eyes about for
an assistant. They fell upon a man named Smith, and the dealer, after
some thought, took up his glass and went over to him.
"I want you to do something for me," he remarked, in a mysterious voice.
"Ah, I've been wanting to see you," said Smith, who was also a dealer in
a small way. "One o' them hins I bought off you last week is dead."
"I'll give you another for it," said Miller.
"And the others are so forgetful," continued Mr. Smith.
"Forgetful?" repeated the other.
"Forget to lay, like," said Mr. Smith, musingly.
"Never mind about them," said Mr. Miller, with some animation. "I want
you to do something for me. If it comes off all right, I'll give you a
dozen hins and a couple of decentish-sized pigs."
Mr. Smith called a halt. "Decentish-sized" was vague.
"Take your pick," said Mr. Miller. "You know Mrs. Pullen's got two
thousand pounds--"
"Wiggett's going to have it," said the other; "he as good as told me so."
"He's after her money," said the other, sadly. "Look 'ere, Smith, I want
you to tell him she's lost it all. Say that Tidger told you, but you
wasn't to tell anybody else. Wiggett 'll believe you."
Mr. Smith turned upon him a face all wrinkles, lit by one eye. "I want
the hins and the pigs first," he said, firmly.
Mr. Miller, shocked at his grasping spirit, stared at him mournfully.
"And twenty pounds the day you marry Mrs. Pullen," continued Mr. Smith.
Mr. Miller, leading him up and down the sawdust floor, besought him to
listen to reason, and Mr. Smith allowed the better feelings of our common
human nature to prevail to the extent of reducing his demands to half a
dozen fowls on account, and all the rest on the day of the marriage.
Then, with the delightful feeling that he wouldn't do any work for a
week, he went out to drop poison into the ears of Mr. Wiggett.
"Lost all her money!" said the startled Mr. Wiggett. "How?"
"I don't know how," said his friend. "Tidger told me, but made me
promise not to tell a soul. But I couldn't help telling you, Wiggett,
'cause I know what you're after."
"Do me a favour," said the little man.
"I will," said the other.
"Keep it from Miller as long as possible. If you hear any one else
talking of it, tell 'em to keep it from him. If he marries her I'll give
you a couple of pints."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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