LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS PAGE You can pay five cents to the Elevated Railroad and get here, or you can put some other man's nickel in your own slot and come here with an attendant _Frontispiece_ His old look of apprehensive cordiality did not leave him until he had seen me climb on a load of hay with my trunk and start for home 15 Then they tied a string of sleighbells to his tail, and hit him a smart, stinging blow with a black snake 27 My idea was to apply it to the wall mostly, but the chair tipped, and so I papered the piano and my wife on the way down 36 Frogs build their nests there in the spring and rear their young, but people never go there 45 I improved the time by cultivating the acquaintance of the beautiful and picturesque outcasts known as the Piute Indians 57 He sometimes succeeds in getting himself disliked by some other dog and then I can observe the fight 67 Then rolling my trousers up a yard or two, I struck off into the scrub pine, carrying with me a large board 74 He looked up sadly at me with his one eye as who should say, "Have you got any more of that there red paint left?" 105 "Mr. Nye, on behalf of this vast assemblage (tremulo), I thank God that you are POOR!!!" 115 Three or four times as much oxygen is consumed in activity as in repose, hence the hornets' nests introduced by me last season 124 Playing billiards, accompanied by the vicious habit of pounding on the floor with the butt of the cue ever and anon, produces at last optical illusions 149 Mr. Whatley hadn't gone more than half a mile when he heard the wild and disappointed yells of the Salvation army 159 "I was in a large, cool hosspital which smelt strong of some forrin substans. The hed doctor had been breathing on me and so I come too" 163 Said the Governor as he swung around with his feet over in our part of the carriage and asked me for a light 181 He therefore had to borrow a bald-headed man to act as bust for him in the evening 194 It was at this time that he noticed the swinging of a lamp in a church, and observing that the oscillations were of equal duration 202 Here Andrew turned the grindstone in the shed, while a large, heavy neighbor got on and rode for an hour or two 210