_2nd King._--Now mortals, that hear How we tilt and career, With wonder, will fear The event of such things as shall never appear. _1st King._--Stay you to fulfil what the gods have decreed. _2nd King._--Then call me to help you, if there shall be need. _1st King._--So firmly resolved is a true Brentford king, To save the distressed, and help to 'em bring, That, ere a full pot of good ale you can swallow, He's here with a whoop, and gone with a halloo. The rather too inquisitive Smith wonders at all this, and complains that, to him, the sense of this is "not very plain." "Plain!" exclaims Bayes, "why, did you ever hear any people in the clouds speak plain? They must be all for flight of fancy, at its full range, without the least check or control upon it. When once you tie up sprites and people in clouds to speak plain, you spoil all." The two kings of Brentford now "light out of the clouds, and step into the throne," continuing the same _dignified_ conversation:-- _1st King._--Come, now to serious council we'll advance. _2nd King._--I do agree; but first, let's have a dance. This confidence of the two kings of Brentford is suddenly disturbed by the sound of war. Two heralds announce that the army, that of Knightsbridge, had come to protect them, and that it had come _in disguise_, an arrangement which puzzles the author's two visitors:-- _1st King._--What saucy groom molests our privacies? _1st Herald._--The army's at the door, and, in disguise, Desires a word with both your majesties. _2nd Herald._--Having from Knightsbridge hither march'd by stealth. _2nd King._--Bid 'em attend a while, and drink our health. _Smith._--How, Mr. Bayes? The army in disguise! _Bayes._--Ay, sir, for fear the usurpers might discover them, that went out but just now. War itself follows, and the commanders of the two armies, the general and the lieutenant-general, appear upon the stage in another parody upon the opening scenes of Dryden's "Siege of Rhodes:"-- _Enter, at several doors, the_ GENERAL _and_ LIEUTENANT-GENERAL, _armed cap-à-pie, with each a lute in his hand, and his sword drawn, and hung with a scarlet riband at the wrist_. _Lieut.-Gen._--Villain, thou liest. _Gen._--Arm, arm, Gonsalvo, arm. What! ho! The lie no flesh can brook, I trow. _Lieut.-Gen._--Advance from Acton with the musqueteers. _Gen._--Draw down the Chelsea cuirassiers. _Lieut.-Gen._--The band you boast of, Chelsea cuirassiers, Shall in my Putney pikes now meet their peers. _Gen._--Chiswickians, aged, and renowned in fight, Join with the Hammersmith brigade.