A Holiday in Bed, and Other SketchesBarrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
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A Holiday in Bed, and Other Sketches
Barrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
Essays; Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Some don't run. They pretend to smile when they see their hat borne
along on the breeze, and glance at the laughing faces around in a way
implying, "Yes, it is funny, and I enjoy the joke, although the hat is
mine." Nobody believes you, but if this does you good, you should do it.
You don't attempt to catch your hat as it were on the wing. You walk
after it, smiling, as if you liked the joke the more you think of it,
and confident that the hat will come to rest presently. You are not the
sort of man to make a fuss over a hat. You won't give the hat the
satisfaction of thinking that it can annoy you. Strange though it may
seem, there are idiots who will join you in pursuit of the hat. One will
hook it with a stick, and almost get it, only not quite. Another will
manage to hit it hard with an umbrella. A third will get his foot into
it or on it. This does not improve the hat, but it shows that there is a
good deal of the milk of human kindness flowing in the street as well
as water, and is perhaps pleasant to think of afterwards. Several times
you almost have the hat in your possession. It lies motionless, just
where it has dropped after coming in contact with a hansom. Were you to
make a sudden rush at it you could have it, but we have agreed that you
are not that sort of man. You walk forward, stoop, and----. One reads
how the explorer thinks he has shot a buffalo dead, and advances to put
his foot proudly on the carcass, how the buffalo then rises, and how the
explorer then rises also. I have never seen an explorer running after
his hat (though I should like to), but your experience is similar to his
with the buffalo. As your hand approaches the hat, the latter turns over
like a giant refreshed, and waddles out of your reach. Once more your
hand is within an inch of it, when it makes off again. There are ringing
cheers from the audience on the pavement, some of them meant for the
hat, and the others as an encouragement to you. Before you get your hat
you have begun to realize what deer-stalking is, and how important a
factor is the wind.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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