"I haven't been half the boss you think me. I've been hedged in,
cramped, and shackled. All these fellows who hop the stick when I say
'Jump' have their little axes I must help grind. I've fooled away the
best years of my life taking care of these little fellows, and I've
spent a lot of money on them. It's become a little monotonous, I can
tell you. It's begun to get on my nerves, for I have a few; and all this
hammering I've taken from the newspapers has begun to make me hot. I
know about as much as they do about the right and wrong of things; I
suppose I know something about government and the law too!"
"Yes," Sylvia assented eagerly.
He readjusted himself in his chair, crossing his legs and thrusting his
hands into his trousers pockets.
"It _would_ be rather cheerful and comfortable," he continued musingly,
as though unburdening himself of old grievances, "to be free to do as
you like once in a lifetime! Those fellows in Thatcher's herd who have
practically sold out to me and are ready to deliver the goods to-night
are all rascals, swung my way by a few corporations that would like to
have me in Washington. It would be a good joke to fool them and elect a
man who couldn't be bought! It's funny, but I've wondered sometimes
whether I wasn't growing tired of the old game."
"But the new game you can play better than any of them. It's the only
way you can find peace."
With a gesture half-bold, half-furtive, he put out his hand and touched
lightly the glove she had drawn off and laid on the table.
"You believe in me; you have some faith left in me?"
"Yes."
Her hand touched his; her dark eyes searched the depths of his
soul--sought and found the shadows there and put them to flight. When
she spoke it was with a tenderness that was new to all his experience of
life; he had not known that there could be balm like this for a bruised
and broken spirit. This girl, seeking nothing for herself, refusing
anything he could offer, had held up a mirror in which he saw himself
limned against dancing, mocking shadows. Nothing in her arraignment had
given him a sharper pang than her reference to his loneliness, his
failure to command sympathy and confidence in his home relationships. No
praise had ever been so sweet to him as hers; she not only saw his
weaknesses and dealt with them unsparingly, but she recognized also the
strength he had wasted and the power he had abused. She saw life in
broad vistas as he had believed he saw it; he was not above a stirring
of pride that she appreciated him and appraised his gifts rightly. He
had long played skillfully upon credulity and ignorance; he had
frittered away his life in contentions with groundlings. It would be a
relief, if it were possible, to deal with his peers, the enlightened,
the far-seeing, and the fearless, who strove for great ends. So he
pondered, while outside the sentinel kept watch like a fate.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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