"Yes," Sylvia was saying slowly, "you can make restitution. But not to
the dead--not to my mother asleep over there at Montgomery, oh, not to
me! What is done is past, and you can't go back. There's no going back
in this world. But you can go on--you can go on and up--"
"No! You don't see that; you don't believe that?"
"Yes, I believe it. The old life--the life of mystery and duplicity is
over; you will never go back to the old way."
"The old way?" he repeated.
"The old unhappy way."
"Up there at the lake you knew I was unhappy; you knew things weren't
right with me?"
"Things weren't right because you were wrong! Success hadn't made you
happy. The shadows kept dancing round you. Mrs. Bassett's troubles came
largely from worrying about you. In time Marian and Blackford will begin
to see the shadows. I should think--I should think"--and he saw that she
was deeply moved--"that a man would want the love of his children; I
should think he would want them to be proud of him."
"His children; yes; I haven't thought enough of that."
She had so far controlled herself, but an old ache throbbed in her
heart. "In college, when I heard the girls talking of their homes, it
used to hurt me more than you can ever know. There were girls among my
friends whose fathers were fine men,--some of them great and famous; and
I used to feel sure that my father would have been like them. I
felt--that I should have been proud of him." And suddenly she flung her
arms upon the table and bowed her face upon them and wept.
He stood beside her, patiently, helplessly. The suggestion of her lonely
girlhood with its hovering shadow smote him the more deeply because it
emphasized the care she had taken to subordinate herself throughout
their talk.
"Do you think you could ever be proud of me?--that you might even care a
little, some day?" he asked, bending over her.
"Oh, if it could be so!" she whispered brokenly, so low that he bent
closer to hear.
The room was very still. Sylvia rose and began drawing on her glove, not
looking at him. She was afraid to risk more; there was, indeed, nothing
more to say. It was for him to make his choice. He was silent so long
that she despaired. Then he passed his hand across his face like one
roused from sleep.
"Wait a moment," he said, "and I will walk home with you."
He went to the door and dispatched the guard on an errand; then he
seated himself at the table and picked up a pad of paper. He was still
writing when Harwood entered. Sylvia and Dan exchanged a nod, but no
words passed between them. They watched the man at the table, as he
wrote with a deliberation that Dan remembered as characteristic of him.
When he had finished, he copied what he had written, put the copy in his
breastpocket and buttoned his coat before glancing at Harwood.
"If I withdraw my name, what will happen?" he asked quietly.
"Ramsay will be nominated, sir," Dan answered.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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