irreverent any longer to call a dead mother or an angelic presence to
hallow and to share.
But she said nothing when she was called to Miss Bethune’s room, and
clad in mourning, recognising with a thrill, half of horror, half of
pride, the crape upon her dress which proved her right to that new
exaltation among human creatures--that position of a mourner which is in
its way a step in life. Dora did not ask where she was going when she
followed Miss Bethune, also in black from head to foot, to the plain
little brougham which had been ordered to do fit and solemn honour to
the occasion; the great white wreath and basket of flowers, which filled
up the space, called no observation from her. They drove in silence to
the great cemetery, with all its gay flowers and elaborate aspect of
cheerfulness. It was a fine but cloudy day, warm and soft, yet without
sunshine; and Dora had a curious sense of importance, of meaning, as if
she had attained an advanced stage of being. Already an experience had
fallen to her share, more than one experience. She had knelt, troubled
and awe-stricken, by a death-bed; she was now going to stand by a grave.
Even where real sorrow exists, this curious sorrowful elation of
sentiment is apt to come into the mind of the very young. Dora was
deeply impressed by the circumstances and the position, but it was
impossible that she could feel any real grief. Tears came to her eyes as
she dropped the shower of flowers, white and lovely, into the darkness
of that last abode. Her face was full of awe and pity, but her breast of
that vague, inexplainable expansion and growth, as of a creature entered
into the larger developments and knowledge of life. There were very few
other mourners. Mr. Templar, the lawyer, with his keen but veiled
observation of everything, serious and businesslike; the doctor, with
professional gravity and indifference; Miss Bethune, with almost stern
seriousness, standing like a statue in her black dress and with her pale
face. Why should any of these spectators care? The woman was far the
most moved, thinking of the likeness and difference of her own fate, of
the failure of that life which was now over, and of her own, a deeper
failure still, without any fault of hers. And Dora, wondering,
developing, her eyes full of abstract tears, and her mind of awe.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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